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Pitchbot Reply Guy

@pitchbotturd02

Parody. Fan of the NyTimes Pitchbot.

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12.11.2024
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Latest posts by Pitchbot Reply Guy @pitchbotturd02

Noem-Where Man

The word is that Corey Lewandowski needed someone to love but now he won't be seeing his girl Kristi Noem much anymore (this bird has flown). That's just what goes on! Run for your life, Corey!

by Maureen Dowd

08.03.2026 02:38 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1
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Every employee at Kristi Noem's DHS as a character from Wuthering Heights.

08.03.2026 02:12 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A coastal coffee farm Kauai might seem like a strange place to meet Trump supporters. But over the gentle din of clucking chickens you can hear a faint whisper that Bidenflation is to blame for rising coffee bean prices.

08.03.2026 02:09 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

Where my wife & I honeymooned - cheers!

08.03.2026 02:01 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The top issue on voter's minds? Obama inviting the rapper Common to the White House circa 2011.

07.03.2026 04:22 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

In this Ohio diner, the locals are standing behind surging oil prices.

07.03.2026 04:05 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The fall of the Ayatollah and the crisis of masculinity.

by Ross Douthat

06.03.2026 20:27 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I am one of the 92,000 people who lost their job this month. Here's why I'm voting Trump again in 2028.

06.03.2026 16:21 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Whether it is the DOJ releasing a horrifying interview with a woman who claimed to have been sexually abused as a young teenager by the president, or Tucker Carlson amplifying a known charlatan claiming he had sex with Obama, both sides are facing credible allegations of abuse.

06.03.2026 15:16 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I've Just Seen a Mar-a-Lago Face

Help! Yesterday, President Trump gave Kristi Noem a ticket to ride and now we're going to lose that girl, but maybe if she didn't hide her love away for Corey we could all act naturally about it. You make me dizzy Miss Kristi!

by Maureen Dowd

06.03.2026 04:36 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

OPINION | Did Kristi Noem just get Borked?

06.03.2026 01:18 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

OPINION | Women need to stop having doctors appointments and dropping their kids off at school in Minneapolis.

14.01.2026 02:44 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Here’s why Trump flipping off a Ford factory worker spells more bad news for Biden.

14.01.2026 01:44 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Analysis | How Democrats lost the astrology vote.

13.01.2026 19:40 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

None of this would be happening if Kamala had only acknowledged the epidemic of cat-eating Haitians.

13.01.2026 19:38 πŸ‘ 14 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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The latest intrepid piece from "The Free Press"

13.01.2026 16:02 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

Either liberals lay down their arms in the war on protein or I will have no choice but to vote Trump in every election for the rest of my life.

13.01.2026 04:29 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Every liberal protestor as a white walker north of the wall.

by Chris Cillizza

13.01.2026 01:09 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

OPINION | We have always been at war with Greenland.

12.01.2026 20:32 πŸ‘ 12 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Why did the DOJ fire a prosecutor who declined to pursue the Comey case? Because he was too woke.

12.01.2026 20:10 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The real winner of Jerome Powell's criminal probe? Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

12.01.2026 16:59 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

OPINION | Where was all the liberal outrage when Ashli Babbitt was killed?

12.01.2026 16:58 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Jerome Powell's biggest mistake? Not going on Rogan.

12.01.2026 16:56 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

In these fraught times, the nation turns its downcast eyes to an ever-growing group of failed comedians & WWE commentators for answers.

12.01.2026 16:55 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

OPINION | Jerome Powell should be replaced by Kid Rock.

12.01.2026 16:44 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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12.01.2026 16:41 πŸ‘ 8 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0

News stories that are critical of Trump are simply not in the public interest.

by Bari Weiss

12.01.2026 16:21 πŸ‘ 14 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

If democrats were serious about victory in the midterms, they would endorse a policy of regime change in at least 3 more countries.

12.01.2026 03:44 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

OPINION | Civilians need better training on how to de-escalate interactions with ICE.

12.01.2026 03:25 πŸ‘ 13 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I was irate over years of Biden crime family "lawfare." Here's why I support Trump issuing a criminal indictment to Fed Chair Jerome Powell as part of a campaign to intimidate him and pressure him to lower interest rates.

12.01.2026 03:21 πŸ‘ 12 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0