The Bug Smoocher

Do you think the Curb Your Enthusiasm ditty played when Larry David got in trouble for that NFT/crypto ad he did?

Moroteuthopsis longimana, 1207 m, #SouthSandwichIslands w/@oceancensus.bsky.social - The 35-day deep-sea expedition team observed thriving polar ecosystems, discovered new hydrothermal vents, coral gardens & many suspected new species. Read full post on Instagram: www.instagram.com/reel/DMIljx4...

My crocs!!! My boys!!!!!

I’m so ambulatory! I can walk and bend and lift! I can feed my animals without retching!!!

I hand the baby over to my husband and with the clock ticking I speedrun like 12 chores.

If you don’t read old stuff you’ll never discover that people in the olden days had the same thoughts and feelings and dreams and anxieties you do, sometimes articulated differently, sometimes exactly the same way. You are never truly alone in anything and old writings are a neon sign telling you so

You’re right. I’m going to Petco and delivering in the fish food aisle. I *WILL* get an infection.

Fuck man, I miss working with aquarium fish. Also I’m having a baby tomorrow.

It’s been years since I’ve done professional aquarium stuff, but iirc they loved veggies and seaweed, and made spectacular midsize cichlid communities. As they mature their heads turn dark blue, and they develop a vertical yellow stripe behind that. The white spots eventually fade away.

They change color dramatically as they get older, but baby Duboisis are so stunning.

A quote from Peter Faulk, telling a story about his glass eye: “I remember once in high school the umpire called me out at third base when I was sure I was safe. I got so mad I took out my glass eye, handed it to him and said, 'Try this.' I got such a laugh you wouldn't believe."

Yeah, and he was a riot with it.

If you thought Albatross Wisdom mating news was exciting wait till you hear about kākāpō mating news! www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...

Gang.

GANG.

LLM DETECTORS ARE ALSO LLMs AND PRONE TO THE EXACT SAME ERRORS.

STOP USING THEM.

A photo of pair of kids on dirt bikes in a drab park/basketball court, captioned “This is illegal”

A photograph of a house, captioned “Nice house 👍👍” and followed by a reply of “😭😭😭” by two of the purported biker children

Oh my god 😂

These parks are usually empty lots that are lucky to have a flat basketball court, and are mostly intended to give the yuppies’ schnoodles somewhere to shit, so I take zero issue with kids being outside and having fun in the fresh air with friends, even on a dirt bike.

Some guy on the local Nextdoor got pissed off about some kids riding dirt bikes at one of the barren parks on the South End of town. Well, those kids are also on Nextdoor and they’re all in the comments calling him a creep and posting pictures of his house, and I’m very here for it.

One time my kid left a purple crayon in a pocket, and when it went through the dryer it destroyed his nicest white sweater… or it would have, if it weren’t for OxiClean.

Thank you, Billy Mays. You really did have reason to be that hype about it, it wasn’t just the coke habit. 🤍

Cartoon: If anyone in Chicago knows this school or an anti ICE organization affiliated with them I would be happy to donate this art. I only wish I could have fully Sal Buscema-ed that punch :)

A plaster Kirby bowl, with a gaping, void maw opened wide in anticipation of Valentines.

Now the plaster Kirby has feet and hands.

Finally, the Kirby is emitting a big, magenta heart, which is a thing that he does normally, I hear.

Kiddo wanted a Kirby Valentine’s receptacle, and he had a vision that took all three of us to execute. Truly a family effort, and it sounds like it was a hit at school.

Jack Horner Facebook post from 12 Feb. So, while I'm being investigated by SVP, why don't you outraged paleo-people get back to doing some factual science, using the scientific method. You seem to have forgotten how that works, you know, using actual evidence? For Darren, I think this is essential, as I get the impression from his DinoCon disinvite, he's still cheesed off from Kevin and I pummeling him over the whole Darwin sexual selection argument back in 2013. But, I do thank you Darren, for weeding out the invasive nuisances from my social media platforms, I was curious as to how I was going to do that on my own.

For people outside of paleontology:

This senior paleontologist, who married a 19-year-old, visited a convicted pedophile in 2012 & 2016. Is beefing over a conference argument from 13 years ago, angry because he was banned from a family-friendly event across the Atlantic. The level of petty.

Made the mistake of scrolling back and reading some journal entries from last year after writing a new one.

Literally what the fuck was last year.

Get yourself a kid who knows every word to ‘The Wellerman,’ so that when he hits age 9 you can awaken to a prepubescent voice ad-libbing it to be ‘The Stinkyman.’

a person is holding a piece of paper on a wooden table with cards on it . Alt: a GIF of an unfolding battle plan

HMM. You’re right. You can’t set a hygienic example when you allow your own to be subpar… these Toothbrush Logistics are a more cunning foe than I thought.

Designate one baby as Warm Color Baby and the other as Cool Color Baby. Never deviate from this for the rest of your life.

(I was the oldest of 4 very close-in-age kids and my mom had to do insane things to keep our stuff separate, this is just life with multiples)

Buy two 6 packs. Now your family of 4 has three replacements for everyone.

Feels weird to say that the Romans were based, but on this occasion I have to hand it to ‘em.

I wish I could have been spiritually in the room when GameFreak decided to give Whitney’s Miltank Scrappy in the Pokémon Gen2 remakes. Maybe I’d feel better about what they did if I could see the way they must have laughed and laughed.

Oh this is a classic. A banger. I made sure it’s in the library I put together for my 9 year old.

My dad would’ve died of sepsis from a botched colonoscopy if my mom hadn’t realized he was burning up right before bed. She dragged him to the ER and he was hospitalized for two weeks.

This is to say: Dads are hard to look after. I’m very, very sorry for your loss.