Well-behaved cats rarely make history. 👑

My BF: Did you eat that entire pan of brownies?
Me, laying on the couch with chocolate frosting on my face: Anonymous smears!!

“You will not defeat me! After all, a hero is only as good as their villain,” I say to the pile of laundry I swore I would fold and put away today.

I’ve started walking/jogging with a weighted vest. And sure, it helps to prevent osteoporosis and build muscle and blah blah blah.
But if I’m honest, I just want to be ready for the day when I have to run through the Dagobah swamps with Yoda on my back.
Because that day WILL come.
I just know it.

Listen, I know what time of year it is. And I know that I live in Utah. But I’m still disappointed by how cold it is. I’m resentful in a way that isn't even grounded in reality. Like, I feel very deeply that if Mother Nature would just try a little harder, I wouldn't be wearing TWO SCARVES right now

In today’s episode of “I’m not good at being a grown up” I’m googling how to fix an unlit portion of my Christmas tree lights.
There HAS to be a better way than going through every single light on the strand.
Everyone is just throwing out the strand of lights and buying a new one, right?

Since I’m very much still in the mindset that it’s the end of the world as we know it, would it be okay with everyone if I scream “Leo-nard-Bern-stein!!” at abrupt intervals until I feel fine?

It’s literally the only part of the song that I know.

How is it that a congressional hearing about UFOs is the news I care about the least this week?