sbeve

put my entire foot in a puddle because I was distracted sending this text to my husband. I am having the day I deserve.

ffbs (freddy fazbear butt sex)

you are itty bitty! your are small!

a very poorly drawn MS Paint drawing of garfield sucking a penis, and a speech bubble that says "eat the lasagna garfield"

is this a selfie?

i'm #on a #boat #⛴️

i wish to glide like a flying squirrel

(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

True Art

i saw him somewhere else #malcomsomewhereelse

being pretentious makes me feel fucking nauseous

*suspiciously brazil shaped belly* oh… Well theres my hopes and dream gone

they can't find it

suffocation. no breeding

cuck my wife into pieces

i have it on good authority that Brazil doesn't exist anymore

there's a secret that only i know

bart smear in this episode im watching

the human body is magical

eating vegetables? Yuck!!! eating human meat burgers? Yum!!!

had a dream that I had a wart on my toe. riveting

I'm happy now. I'm content now. Don't see my loss of life as a loss! (I feel like i have to clarify, not right now. I'll be here tomorrow!)

they didn't cancel you???

i see the mirth in a mirthless grin

im dead 💀

I saw the end of the world in gruesome detail on the discovery page and when I scrolled back up it was gone

WROOOOOONG you just pressed the ATTACK button now you have aggroed EVERYONE IN THE VICINITY

Seek forgiveness by pressing the square button

i can float in my magic orb by holding the JUMP button while in air