'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once
the moment the second person comes into the frame to stand with his neighbor is so incredibly beautiful
it's not, and if you've ever had so much as a moment of joy while bad things exist you should be ashamed
the next time you smile at a sunrise, remember: you're smiling with Hitler
ME [opening a card from the boss that says ‘get better soon’]: but i’m not sick, sir
BOSS: no, you’re just
terrible at this job
When I’m sharing art or something here I feel like an animal crossing villager sharing the cool bug I caught
Work Emails are Turn Based Combat
Ghost Trick
welcome to bluesky! your onboarding orb has been imprinted with today's agenda, featuring:
- spooky display names: a guided booturial
- the abridged history of posts vs skeets: a documentary (68h runtime)
- a fireside chat: there is no algorithm vs yes there is
if anyone on here tells you that you need to know bluesky lore or anything like that, just ignore them. nothing ever happens
A heads up for new bluesky users, and this is something the devs REALLY should make clearer during the onboarding process: whenever you post a nude on this app it goes up on a big screen at a baseball game
A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #1,135,655, skye @dawnmarionette.bsky.social, joined on Sep 20, 2023"
did not realize i got in here that early
holy shit you don’t like the thing a lot of people like?? fuck that’s so cool you’re such a badass
i dont agree with everything vaush says but i think his take on ai art is correct & morally necessary. people who dont see the difference between ai art & human-made art are subhuman & fundamentally lack empathy. its the endgame of those “im the only conscious thinking person on this train” tendency
Date someone who says things like:
• Drive safe
• Text me when you get home
• I miss you
• One night while I was eating fries outside of a 7-11, Keanu Reeves walked up, asked to borrow a french fry & then proceeded to eat fries out of my hand like a baby deer
• I'm proud of you
A sign on the side of a refrigerator reads "CAKE!! Up here so fluffy does not sit on!!" with an arrow pointing up. There is a cake in a plastic packaging with a cat sat on it on top of the refrigerator.
#Caturday 🤭
i love when the nyt does an expose like "ok, here's what we spent the last few months complicit in"
Can't have it both ways, if the government is going to make me do my own taxes they should live with the number I come up with. Don't come back to me later like "Actually,"
Character sheet
i work in a countertop showroom. unironically one of the things ive learned to mention that ppl respond positively to is you can get away with not resealing granite bc you cant see the stains. but, i have to add each time, the bacteria will still be there. even if you don’t see your sauce stains.
Uber: we can't make money if we have to follow the law
Google: we can't make money if we're not allowed to be a monopoly
Nestle: we can't make money without using slave labor
OpenAI: we can't make money if we can't steal
media: should shoplifters be executed?
picture of matcha latte in a clear teacup painted with cherry blossoms
look how cute my gay lil matcha latte is
Headline: Biden Could Kill Donald Trump And Not Be Prosecuted, Under Trump’s Own Legal Theory
let’s go, brandon
I don't know if anyone else gets anxious about phone calls but a little tip I've learned is: if there is a phone call that I don't want to make, before I start dialing the number, I carefully hold the phone in my hand & toss it gently into a lake. I hope this advice helps others.
gotta love how the sun shows up every morning, hangs around all day, then just leaves at some point around sunset. it's like okay. thanks
I understand why social media sites have a general prohibition on death threats but imo it shouldn’t apply if the accounts are mutuals. Sometimes you need to tell your buddy that you are going to stab them with a big knife
