maria

(sweating, crying)
i... finished the ultraman script...

woah! the j-horror vid doubled in views recently!!! thank you guys for watching ;w; it's seriously my fav vid i've made. this really cheered me up hahaha. i promise the next one will be out soon. 🖤

yes this was filmed on my sony handycam.

Let's Play "King's Field" (Part 1) YouTube video by maria

i made a fake let's play video in the style of 2011 lol.
youtu.be/Yt4qQkMOTY8

here's the next video's thumbnail.

i'm working on so many fun things. i really think this year will be awesome if you are at all interested in my stuff.

u could always dl then re-encode it if u want :-)

i remember it being on nyaa but the files are hefty. sadly toku is a bit harder to torrent..........

thank you guys for sharing that donation post. idk where i'd be if it wasn't for random strangers on the internet. i seriously think things will get better if i just keep trying. i'm gonna start job hunting after this new video. wish me luck!

at the park.

i think they will. i just need the time to work properly and figure it out!

if things do come to an end, and i can no longer pay my internet bills or feed myself, i hope that whatever final thing i make is really awesome and funny though. because the least i could do is create something cool. that's just how it is when you're an art person.

but getting a job is nearly impossible since i'm a HS drop out and also struggle with psychosis lol. most people just think i'm a weird asshole and the truth is that i'm just tired. i know some people would rather i die and i agree with them. it would affect too many people tho.

depending on how things go i don't know how i'm gonna keep working on stuff. next video might be the last if shit hits the fan hard enough. my life has been conditional up to this point and i've relied on luck and others' kindness.

Support maria ilmutus Support maria ilmutus

ko-fi.com/ilmutus

making a new donation post due to annoying life circumstances. please share or support if you can. sorry for the trouble.

screenshot from Ultraman where a rocket is being aimed at a monster. The subtitles read, "Aim for its butthole."

rewatching ultraman with the wifey

i'm officially 2/3 of the way through the new video script. i don't have an ETA on the finished script but i'm making BIG progress.

oh my god check any channel. they've stopped mr domino.

honestly i'm tempted to sneak out and film random stuff soon

i got a camcorder :D

creature

i ran a fundraiser to save me and my family from squalor. and the reason i got that wasn't because i needed help, it was because people liked me, they liked my videos and my voice, because i had been nice enough to earn it. the lives of me and my family depended on me being Good.

i spent almost three years inside a community that made me feel like shit, and emotionally stunted me, being nice and polite despite wanting to kms daily. my existence is dependant on others seeing me as a human being, which they do not. i'm just another disposable tr*nny body.

i just want to get on disability, or any kind of program, i want to stop obsessing over social media, patreon, etc. it's really killing me.

it's honestly exhausting how much of my livelihood and my life in general is tied to being a nice person, to being liked, to acting the "right" way, to not complaining or embarrassing myself. as someone struggling with mental illness and poverty, it makes me feel miserable.

Get more from maria ilmutus on Patreon youtube videos & art

i'm not one to post about this a lot but, if any of you are excited about future projects or wanna support someone who is unemployed and disabled, i have one of these.
www.patreon.com/c/ilmutus

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