♠️♦️Tezcat the Jaguar Magician♣️♥️

Words by Funkit Toys from their thread https://bsky.app/profile/funkittoys.bsky.social/post/3mdtky5ug4s2r written Feb 1, 2026, art by Erika Moen. An illustration rendered to look prehistoric, as if it's on a stone tablet or stretched hide, shows an assortment of drawings depicting pieces of the following text. Narration: For anyone who may be losing faith in human progress, remember this: We invented the dildo 27,000 years before the gun. Image: A stone phallus with several cracks and intentionally carved penis-head at one end. Caption: Hohle Fels Phallus, 28,000 years ago Text: We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language. Image: A simplified cave art painting depicting a couple having sex in doggy-style. Caption: Cave art, Tassili n'Ajjer, Algeria, 12,000 years ago. Text: We invented the condom before steel. Image: An off-white, aged, sock-let with a long, ragged belt attached to it. Caption: Oil-soaked linen condom of King Tutankkamunn, 1332-1323 BCE Text: Bread is older than war. Beer is older than borders. Image: A fancy loaf of bread, referenced from Pompeii, even though it's not the same time period as the caption, but it looks nice, ok?. Caption: Bread, 14,600-11,600 years ago. Text: We're better at making good things than bad. We've had more practice. Image: A barley field. Caption: Beer, 5,000 years ago. Text: Words by Funkit Toys, Art by Erika Moen, 2026

"We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language." (Full size image)
Words by @funkittoys.bsky.social, images by @erikamoen.bsky.social (and various uncredited prehistoric artists, craftspeople, and caveperverts)

Full post: www.patreon.com/posts/150935...

This is a two-edged sword (and perhaps hypocritical given the current “narrative”) but…

a man wearing glasses and a hat stands in front of a menu for a chicken box ALT: a man wearing glasses and a hat stands in front of a menu for a chicken box

“Sorry. Was a little hangry. Where was I? Oh furry humor and magic tricks. Harmless clean fun. Must be the Ultron in my head acting up. I’ll have a baconator combo meal…”

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“Always the same…”

youtu.be/LplGEpkgbGM?...

Every decade. All the deaths. All the sides being taken and the lines being drawn. The sanctions, the shelling, the breaking news, the crying orphans and bleeding citizens standing in rubble. The plumes of smoke.

It is all because of toddlers playing war games with humanity that put them on there.

The only truly viable military targets to bring peace in the world.
Unfortunately hospitals, residences & schools seem to get caught in the mix.

Raze these, and there will be quiet. At least for awhile. When the toddlers that send others to die over land & faith are forced to stop playing games.

"Why are there so many right-wing sex offenders"

Hmmm yeah I wonder how the ideology that considers women and children to be property and violent sexual dominance to be the pinnacle of masculine action could do this

Visualize one day they will cross your path after vanishing as usual. Perhaps you’re the only person they have left who could save them in that scenario. Long live the king.
“Let go”.

Sorry your based chad son got rocketmogged while genocidemaxxing during Operation Honey Badger. Semper fi or whatecer

Look Shia, you haven’t been on my Fap list since the Nymphomaniac films and the peen in the nonsimulated sex scenes was a body double anyways so you can just take your homophobic mess elsewhere. (Costar Jamie Bell’s hotter) & fuck the Bayverse Transformers. Eagle Eye would have worked without you.

🎶🎶

I have been in a long term relationship spanning 2 decades with a former sound engineer for a rockabilly band that was on the Beavis & Butthead movie soundtrack. My partner also was propositioned for sex by an openly gay singer of an alternative band that was very popular in the 90s at a studio.

As much frontal peen as there was in the film it should have been called the Bone Temple: 28 Inches Later.

I’m not saying that dude has brass balls, I just said he has a

I am not saying that my bf and I are kinky and open, I’m just saying we’re

No, my amateur MMA lesbian friend is not a “carpet muncher” she’s actually a

a cartoon of a cat and a mouse kissing ALT: a cartoon of a cat and a mouse kissing

I thought Iran’s nuclear program was already obliterated last summer with Operation Midnight Hammer?
The only possible explanation is that some Iranian scientists from the far future came back in time and set them back to being days/weeks from nuclear arsenal capabilities. Right?

oddly reminded of that terrible joke:
“A man & kid go into the woods. The kid says, ‘Mister, I don’t want to go into the woods. They’re so scary.’ And he replied ‘What do you have to worry about? You’re not the one who has to walk out of here by himself.’

Humor aside. Be brave during these times.🫶

I hate this timeline.

Ossoff: "The president owes Americans a real explanation. 2am posts on Truth Social just aren't good enough when you're sending Americans into combat. He was dancing at his beach club the same night he ordered air crews to launch into combat & hours before our service members endured missile salvos"

If you know Mark Warner, you know this is a pretty serious statement. He is EXTREMELY level-headed and doesn’t make hyperbolic statements. He is from a state with a bunch of military contractors too. If he is mad about this, then imagine how mad everyone else is.

“THIS IS A (blank) AREA” sign with ominous burn marks in place of a hazard indicator

Boy it sure as hell is

And these movies contributed:
Porkys I & II
ANoES II: FR

I’ve posted many times my “furry”awakening” culprits. But my “gay awakening” culprits I’ve rarely admitted:

At least you’re sticking with the essential food groups. 😼
And given Carlisle’s history I’m surprised that you aren’t also being served some of the Whiskey food group on the side for your judging efforts ;)