Michael Palmer

This stereo needs more power. It’s the 30th anniversary of Streets of America and I’m comfortable in the same room. #BadReligion

We need a word for the satisfying anticipation one feels when pulling a #burrito from a bag. The tuck-in procedure begins, and we all have one.

Wait, what street is this? North is which way? Damnit, did I go back in time?

That swift walking double fisted rocker gloves in grinning teeth just received the last minute call for aa gif … or will soon be writing one hell of a breakup song.

This herbal good-for-the-system sure tastes #healthy. My tongue feels fuzzy.

Five minutes ago I was unaware my body could simultaneously burp and hiccup. Usually one enjoys learning … not like that. #wtf

Trash pandas are hilarious. Vaudevillean awkward sneaky. If one honked a bicycle horn to taunt me I would in no way be surprised.

I like this guy. He can take a hint. Lordy knows I can ramble on.

Dulce Jesús mío! My #adventuresports abused legs where just kneeling down to scratch the cat when one knee popped with an actual shockwave the cat abruptly left. #rad #Xennial #doctor?

This town is so small I went for a walk and left town twice. #MoscowID #adorable

Just a quick late night snack.
You're leaving for the holiday.
Something easy with leftovers.
Heat up those refried black beans … and beans go with cheese that won’t keep. Is that a half-full back of chips i see?
Nachos! We're baking NACHOS!!!

The only real pets I’ve had as an adult have been fish. With fish you can abscond for a month and leave the feed n’ clean to the robots.

Me (strolling down a High Street): “Oh, a delicatessen. Not been to a proper one in some time."

-VEGAN-

"... maybe big orange was right. Maybe Portland is a living-hell."

This quesadilla I’m making is effective but ultimately disappointing . Too illa, not enough queso. #mexicanfood

These new kitchen towels, “Bar Mops”, are slightly more absorbent than a duck.

Eating this pizza I wonder, why can’t I thank Saint Paperoni.

You know the carnitas you made are great when your sister halfway finishes a breakfast dish made with the leftover and panics that was the last. Then is calmed to see there is plenty more.

Waking up in the middle of the night with The Thirst. They sucks.
Grab a glass of it before you go to bed. #hydrate #IsThisStillAThing

That was not that lotion that mosquitos dislike. Aargh!!!

The popcorn is excellent tonight. One spot was perfectly heavy on the white pepper in one nose-tickling spot. #movienight #notketo

Seems like another of his “look over here!” nonsense. What illegal or morally questionable thing happened within 24 hour of this balderdash?

Don’t forget the mines.

The children yearn for the mine.

Yes, George. Yes. He is a child, and not in a fun way. When he doesn’t get what he wants he throws tantrums.

Human centipede of one.

Some days I impress myself.

That day is not today.

The fly in this room, it taunts and mocks me.

If this turns out to be another effing cake …

But seriously, that’s an amazing shot. Even if it is a cake.

It was all fine before now then Andy made it weird.

an older man with a beard is clapping his hands ALT: an older man with a beard is clapping his hands

There are plenty of us who appreciate your work. Us and a few future therapists.

I can see why he was choose to play this role, that guy is really dumb. Remember when he said he was an “Anti-Trumper”?