QuantumAvali

god im so fucking pathetic. why do i even bother trying with anything

playing ss14, happened upon a pill, packmate took it before i could do a funny and eat it

got the idea to check what's inside it since i've not learned how to yet

get back to my lab and get a live demonstration on grinding up pills

OH FUCK THAT'S 40u OF ROMEROL

having someone describe ss14 as a space 9-5 simulator is something i didn't know i needed until now

its his first job on the space station #ss13

The old dog my family had just passed away half an hour ago. I was there with her in her final moments and everything. It wasn't easy to sit through and watch. This is the last picture I took of her here, in the front, before she started getting as bad as she did

when ur enby everything is gay

also yes hi hello i am finally back to mirroring my posts onto here after a fiasco that occurred with friends of mine on this platform

i am once again holding disdain for windows over a problem i have no idea why it exists or how to fix it and wishing i could just use linux instead

one of my interests is avali (obviously, who would've thought lmao)

should update, apologize for all the stuff I vent-tweeted yesterday. doing a bit better today. not 100%, but better

I ever manage to get a therapist or psychologist or whatever again, they're going to have a fucking field day with me

I only ever want to do right by others. My only desire is to do right by others. Yet I keep fucking it up and never learning from any of it and it tears me apart because idk what to do

In a rare act, my brain switches from voices and thoughts of abuse and beratement to voices and thoughts of care and consolation. Despite this I'm still beating myself up more than it or anyone else ever has

I feel like losing my fucking mind as much as my will to live..

It's funny how most days I wish I could live forever out of fear for the possibility of what happens after death. But then I get days like these where I wish I didn't have to live a second longer because the pain is too much. Both the pain of living and the pain I cause others..

Really starting to feel like I'm destined to be trapped here and to rot under my miserable parents because every time an opportunity comes by for me to have a chance to be free I always seem to fuck it up. All I can ever seem to do tbh. Is fuck it up...

Reposting this here as a screenshot because fuck it. I don't feel like retyping it all. Don't really feel like much of anything except causing more pain to myself than I'm already feeling... Probably gonna try and go to bed I don't fucking know..

No wait please don't take my public transportation I don't even have any aaaaaa-

fanart of marcille and chimera falin from dungeon meshi. marcille lies flat on her back on the stone floor, holding her staff across her chest in a defensive position. falin looms above her, hands and claws planted on either side of the elf's body. her wing is raised over their heads. the girls stare into each other's eyes, falin with an intense, animal gaze, and marcille with nervousness and worry.

i am not immune to monster yuri

There are a lot of times where I doubt myself and worry about how bad my media and political literacy skills are. But then I see dipshit right wingers who still think shit like Fallout and Helldivers genuinely supports their shitty ideas, and then I feel a little better of myself

I don't understand why my body and brain aren't allowing me to go to sleep anytime before 6:00 lately, but it's been getting real fucking annoying for several weeks now

be me
desire playing space engineers
bunch of friends wanna join
create group for it
it gets flooded with transbians
group changes from being about se to hot gay women stuff

worth it

wait, brain, you mean to tell me, you gave me a dream where I got a plate of pancakes and french toast, poured syrup all over them, and then just had me sit there for the rest of the dream AND DIDNT LET ME FUCKING EAT THEM?!

fucking disgraceful, brain, truly

family found a lonely little kitten outside in the middle of the night. little guy is super climby and clingy lol. already purring heavily just whenever someone is around it. also likes to bolt out of the bathroom we're keeping it in to keep dogs away while figuring out what to do with it

Gotta say, getting into trying to set up my avatar with outfit toggles and stuff for VRChat, got me feeling Yandere Sim dev's experience with programming, but with animators in my case

Wehh!!

Nomming on goats is all fun and games, up until they start chomping back. No one even told me they would nom me pwp

When I listened to Distractible and heard Markiplier talk about staring up at the ceiling and seeing letters in his vision, I was confused by it. But now suddenly sometimes when I wake up from "bad" dreams too quickly, I see them, like just now lol. So fuckin weird

awa

4 in the morning, outside of finishing a grind in a game, i finally managed to successfully accomplish doing something with myself today. i can now go to bed feeling satisfied today wasnt fully wasted