They didn’t have one that quite represented me; so I felt inclined to make my own. ☺️

Therapy taught me to spot red flags early and protect my peace. Unfortunately, that means I now see them immediately. Everywhere. Always.

So yeah. Why did I do all this healing just to be the emotionally available final boss in a lobby full of NPCs?

Some think being flaky or disrespectful of time is just “dating in New York.” No, it’s just being an ass with better branding.

Then there’s the disappearing, the gaslighting, the lack of follow-through.
And when you name it, you’re told: “It’s not that deep” or “You’re too emotional.”

Then, there are those who date with one foot in, one foot out, always waiting for the next best thing; be it someone who is hotter / richer / fitter / higher status / bigger dick or ass, etc.

Many claim they “don’t take dating seriously” because they’ve "been hurt too many times before" and they have trust issues.

Cool. So you’re emotionally unavailable on purpose.

Then there’s: “I don’t know what I want, but I’ll know it when I see it.” A sentence so powerful, I now treat it as a medical alert.

Dating (especially gay men who haven’t met their trauma yet) feels like unpaid labor.

When you show up with consistency, sincerity, and zero games, people assume there must be a twist.
Because authenticity now feels like a scam.

One unexpected consequence of therapy is discovering the dating pool is basura, and you're just kind-of out there alone.

I don’t think I’m better than anyone.
I’m just self-aware, direct, and capable of communicating without a puzzle or a power play.

Apparently, that’s a flex now.

I enjoyed the journey. Excited to see where it goes. #HeatedRivalry

Benito looking fine af tonight. #GRAMMYs

Ilya making sure his sub gets off, without reciprocity in this moment, like a true dom. 👏🏾

#HeatedRivalry

My heart. #HeatedRivalry

Not Ilya got clocked too. #HeatedRivalry

Ilya finally being a little vulnerable. 🥲

#HeatedRivalry

“The thing is… I… I kind of prefer being the hole rather than the peg.”

God I love that Shane is an unabashed bottom.

#HeatedRivalry

Not Rose clocked Shane’s tea. 😱

#HeatedRivalry

I’m focusing on appreciating my progress instead of seeking validation from strangers. The goal is to be a muscle queer who actually remembers where he started.

People don't realize how much grit it takes to do this alone while being judged for not looking the part yet. All the times someone asks for a “body pic” and immediately blocks you. (Bitch I was a whole 40 pounds heavier just last year).

I’m in the gym, six days a week, 2.5 hours a day, plus a 5-mile walk to and from… I’m putting in the work, but the mirror isn't reflecting it yet.

Having a belly while training this hard is a mental struggle, and the pressure of app culture only makes the 'shortcut' of steroids look tempting.

Am I attracted to Milo Ventimiglia?

I think I am.

Let’s revisit. 🤤🥵😋😮‍💨

#HeatedRivalry

Nice!

Ilya’s team #bisexual? 👀

#HeatedRivarly

Shane is kind of perfect, ngl.

#HeatedRivalry

Shane’s stretch marks… 🥵🥵🥵

#HeatedRivalry

You tell me. You’re yawning.

Scott not showing up to Kip’s birthday party. Now sir…

#HeatedRivalry

👀

He asked him to stay. 😍

This is too much. 😮‍💨 #HeatedRivalry

Okay Kip. 👀 #HeatedRivalry