When I was in year seven we had to make a clock out of jigsawed acrylic plastic. I made the Seattle skyline because I’m goddamn cool.
10.03.2026 13:27
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When I was in year seven we had to make a clock out of jigsawed acrylic plastic. I made the Seattle skyline because I’m goddamn cool.
Hee! 😊👏👏👏
1000% would watch a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Jesus.
Finally finished Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, which I began in the middle of a long phase where I couldn’t muster the concentration to read much. I’m right back into reading now. That was a great book 📖❤️
When my voice is properly back, I’m gonna record the counterpart to this (The Muppet Show but it’s Wicked) 👀
A sherbet
I still look up when I hear any child say "Mummy". My child is old enough to vote now, but that's still me. Mummy, forever.
CAREFULEY
Please drive pluckily
Not now, 'my hopes and dreams being crushed in the space of a single second', I'm busy 😡
Just discovered Diptyque Eau Duelle, and it's a dream perfume for me. Its marketing associates it with "adventure" but to me it's precisely *my* kind of adventure: exploring a secondhand bookshop. Dusky vanillin-infused pages and the dark wood of antique bookshelves. At last I smell like Hay on Wye.
I just feel like I need it for some kind of psychological closure 😅
Last time I performed in Croydon it was in the Fairfield Halls in a celebration of local school choirs and the mayor said I was very talented, so I can only assume the same will happen this time.
I definitely can't but @harecomedy.bsky.social might?
Yeah, he usually doesn't last this long.
It was inevitable that it would one day come to this.
Can't believe this atom wore its hair in a ponytail more than once in a week 😡
Hahaha no FLIPPING KIDDING.*
*which is also good advice if you want to make it in the UK performing arts industry
“Hi, Mark! We so love that you’re an English comedian, novelist and producer! How’s the being born Mark Andrew Watson on 13 February 1980 game treating you? Bet that makes you aged 46! How are your…” *quickly scans down page* English father and Welsh mother?”
I dislike the culture of stand up in London compared to my local (Wales and West) scene. Whenever I think about trying to establish myself there I come up against a barrage of five-minute unpaid ‘bringer/stayer’ spots. Just can’t afford to go there for five unpaid minutes.
When’s it International Shirt Tucked Into Slightly Soiled Underpants Day?
Petition to rename your Patreon to "Two Together Markcard"
Sunday is not Sundaying today. Can’t focus on gig applications because this end of whatever virus I’ve had includes blinding flashes of headache whenever I cough and the right side of my face hurting like hell 😞
Ah, the Home Alone phase. I don't think I had that, but I definitely went through a The Witches phase of designing elaborate activity-palaces for the white mice I would one day have.
Romantic cuck-chaise for your ghost husband
I need to give my head a wobble, actually, thinking it will be brutal. It's unlikely to be populated by the *exact* girls who called me a sad cow in high school 😅
If any comics I know on here already have a little audience there and want support for that leg of a tour or whatever, hit me up!
It’s occurred to me that because I live far from London and the scene is very different there, I’ve never been back to gig in my home town. Sometime in the next year I need, if only once, to schlep over to Croydon and do what will probably be a brutal but necessary gig.
I choose to take this as a Fiendish Feet reference, because there aren’t enough Fiendish Feet references in my life.
A sharps container for me at the end of each night. The next morning I rise undiscarded, cursing my promethean fate.
You can’t tell me what to do
You live in a Beatrix Potter story 🥰
Anwen’s at a party and alas, I have to fill two hours with only a cafe, my phone and my book ☕️📚