Chris Neville-Smith

I think society went downhill when computers started saying "oopsie woopsie something went wrong" instead of FATAL ERROR EXCEPTION IN SECTOR A3BC057F0

Quentin Tarantino is doing British farce like Noises Off.

Act 1: "Richard, I can explain!"

"Samantha, you bitch."

[Richard pulls out a luger. Samantha pulls out an AK-47. Vicar walks in with a bazooka. Indiscriminate graphic violence until only Samantha is left standing, soaked in blood.]

Act 2: You didn't think this was in chronological order, did you?

Act 1: "Richard, I can explain!"

"Samantha, you bitch."

[Richard pulls out a luger. Samantha pulls out an AK-47. Vicar walks in with a bazooka. Indiscriminate graphic violence until only Samantha is left standing, soaked in blood.]

Act 2: You didn't think this was in chronological order, did you?

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Cool. Can we stop making endless Armageddon movies now?

I've spent far too long thinking about this.

Can't decide about Fred though. Is gay, shagging Daphne, or the one guy who hasn't a clue what everyone else is up to?

Which fictional characters do you think were having the nastiest sex off-screen?

What’s worth watching: spring 2026 – summer 2026 Recommendations for Noughts and Crosses, Hold the Line, Grand Babylon Hotel – and a victory lap for Gerry & Sewell

And I forgot: The Fit Prince, from @awkwardprods.co.uk. A sort-of Hallmark Christmas Rom Com in a sort-of Sweden.

chrisontheatre.wordpress.com/2026/03/04/w...

Holy moly, things coming thick and fast today.

Will tell you what I can, when I can.

Fucking awful cartoon

Although doesn't look as bad as "The New Norm", a South-Park wannabe which has a laugh track so you know who you're supposed to laugh at. And Elon Musk is the hero.

Okay, it's Scary Movie. And they've gone all in on anti-woke.

Look guys, there are plenty of ways you can lampoon the sillier elements of identity politics. This is just a load of THEY USED PRONOUNS HURR HURR HURR HURR.

Saw a trailer. Didn't make it to the end.

Not sure whether it was a Scream movie trying to be funny and failing dismally, or a Scary Movie movie trying to be funny and failing dismally.

Network Rail reveals month Darlington Station will reopen after £140m upgrade Network Rail has confirmed the month the revamped Darlington Railway Station will reopen following months of work as part of a multi-million-pound transformation.

New bit of Darlington station opens in May. Finally.

uk.news.yahoo.com/network-rail...

‘Before they threaten to pull funding they should speak to restaurants and shops’ Dame Tracey Emin has weighed into a heated funding row after a leading Reform councillor suggested pulling cash from the Turner Contemporary.

First sign of a Reform-run council threatening to pull funding from an arts organisation for no reason other than politics.

Not clear if this was a serious threat or a stupid off-the-cuff remark, but a clear reason why Reform is no friend of the arts,

www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...

What’s worth watching: spring 2026 – summer 2026 Recommendations for Noughts and Crosses, Hold the Line, Grand Babylon Hotel – and a victory lap for Gerry & Sewell

Feat as safe choices:

* Noughts and Crosses @pilottheatre.bsky.social, at Northern Stage now.
* Hold the Line, coming to @alphabettitheatre.bsky.social,
* Grand Babylon Hotel, @claybodytheatre.bsky.social's first tour
* And the return of Gerry & Sewell

chrisontheatre.wordpress.com/2026/03/04/w...

What’s worth watching: spring 2026 – summer 2026 Recommendations for Noughts and Crosses, Hold the Line, Grand Babylon Hotel – and a victory lap for Gerry & Sewell

New blog post.

What's Worth Watching, taking us up to September 2026.

And we begin as always with safe choices:

chrisontheatre.wordpress.com/2026/03/04/w...

Just noticed the Liverpool venue is called the "Epstein theatre".

Feel sorry for the regulars at this venue who are probably sick of hearing the same jokes.

Uh, didn't Iran have a Holocaust Denial conference, where they invited the literal Ku Klux Klan?

That's a bit harsh on the Bollywood stars. Can we swap them for WWE fighters or something?

That's a bit harsh on the Bollywood stars. Can we swap them for WWE fighters or something?

(I did finally get someone calling me after I'd made the switch, and hate to politely explain that it was too late.)

Fun fact: Ovo is the only utility supplier I've switched from. I couldn't log in to my account because I wasn't getting any password reset emails.

Would have been a simple one-minute job to reset my password for me. Couldn't get through to anyone in a month. I gave up and switched.

I'd been giving Grammarly the benefit of the doubt, with the stuff they call "AI" simply being a slightly better grammar checker.

Looks like they're going down the route of full-blown techo-bullshit.

Unpopular opinion:

I'm not that bothered about oil price rises, even ones caused by orange nutjobs.

Anything that makes fossil fuels unreliable, and encourages the world to get a move on with renewables, is good thing in my books.

Reform's Darren Grimes admits blog post image was AI Darren Grimes says the picture was used for

URGENT CLARIFICATION: When I posted a picture on my blog depicting Darren Grimes having sex with a Nazi watermelon titled "What the fuck is wrong with Darren Grimes?", it was an AI-generated image for illustrative purposes.

Apparently, that's okay now.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Looking forward to the gung-ho supporters of the war on the British right blaming the price rise this brings on net zero policies

What annoys me the most is the number of AI "artists" who are the first to decry the drawings of actual artists and tell them how much time they wasted - who then get angry that their own "work" isn't getting praised from the same artists they rubbished.

(And yes, I'm aware some people might be picking America on purpose as a wind-up, but don't spoil my fun.)

Given that a lot of Americans think Iran is in America - and given the lack of confidence that officials of the current government possess above average intelligence - should we worry that America might bomb itself?

oh nvm