Sweet Baby Jill

"The worm doesn't make me eat dead rats. I was doing that before the worm," he purred at me like one of the diseased cats that would follow him around whenever he had a dead rat in his pocket that he was saving for later. He really liked eating them. He coughed and it sounded like a lawnmower hitting a sprinkler head. His leathery skin crackled in the evening sun. He had to leave tonight - he was speaking at a conference for people who think medicine turns you gay. Sometimes when he was away I would rub an old catcher's mitt up and down my legs and pretend he was giving me a massage. - excerpt from “I Don't Know Why He Sounds Like That: My Disgusting Affair with RFK Jr” by Olivia Nuzzi

wait sorry will smith did WHAT at the oscars????

lets see...the new mario kart comes out and all of the sudden we have a big fight brewing in the white house. 🤔 methinks someone didnt like being hit by the dastardly blue shell...

the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will

Happy pride!

Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love:

☆ Canadian demiromantic people living in diaspora
☆ Russian femme tankies
☆ multisexual people who aren't out at work
☆ French multisexual butch volcels
☆ Alawite homosexual people living in diaspora
☆ poly people

I’d never really experienced it much before but holy shit now I know what people mean when they say Chapo Trap House has a homelessness problem

Take a minute from your day and read this chilling story about how quickly we've gotten to where we are.

hmm... no!!! hahahaha!

il y a une putain de Cheeto dans la Maison Blanche

boiled hot dog
steamed bun
yellow mustard
lots of fun

dondal trump is gay. and fat

americans: we miss wokeness. we miss pronouns. please give us new sexual orientations we beg of you

donald trump:

We are truly living in a place and time with characteristics that distinguish it from others.

Earth Explodes

Earth Explodes
theonion.com/earth-e...

folks there is. a freaking. CHEETO

if they made a Diet Coke with 1.5x as much caffeine most -- if not all -- of the world's problems would be solved

deep fried jpeg of a dolphin and a cow leaping out of the water. talk about a "what the heck" moment! let's get this thing viral

If i brong karl marx to the present day i’d show him Digimon World: Next Order, Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth, Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker’s Memory, Digimon Survive, and the Digimon VitalHero bracelet.

the world's hottest pepper is the jalapeno pepper. this spicy ingredient is included in dishes the world over, but you'd better order a glass of milk on the side – not to mention a bottle of pepto-bismol

don’t post anything online that you wouldn’t say anonymously to a stranger for gamified cruelty points

every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”

squid james is about capitalism if you actually really do think about it. for example in capitalism your boss is a korean man and he shoots you to death with a gun

sometimes i open up an incognito window on my personal cell phone to google, like, "norbit". as if someone is going to unlock my phone, go through my search history, and think "what kind of fucked up freak would google the movie norbit"