MONEY PLANE (2020) predicted polymarkets and kalshi

Optical illusion of a woman bent over some papers. Her sunglasses are pushed up and she is wearing a hair band so the top of her head looks exactly like a Muppet face

Sorry I know the world is in a terrible fix but I've been laughing at this for ten minutes now

you can really see the family resemblance

the twins in Dead Ringers

Jeremy irons was born to play the identical twins in Dead Ringers. He is the spitting image of himself

The President of the United States and the dumbest motherfucker on Earth should be two different People

Yes they should.

RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet

RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-demonstrates-how-to-remove-tapeworm-by-scooting-ass-across-carpet/

finally a good dating app

You seeing any blaze orange hunting gear out there yet?

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

lmao

Study Finds Increased Demand Among Gen Z For Non-Alcoholic Fathers

Study Finds Increased Demand Among Gen Z For Non-Alcoholic Fathers

i mean, there’s definitely just a nurse at that hospital who jerked him off once & he can’t let it go, right?

[at the blood bank]
"oh no, I just labeled all these blood bags incorrectly."
"so they aren't type As?"
"no they're all typos."

King of England on a checkerboard pattern tile floor

Y’all might not appreciate it, but it took him 87 moves and 14 hours to get here

if i'm private ryan i am so pissed at hanks for that "earn this" shit. oh did my three dead brothers not cover the bill? fuck you. gonna drag my family to your grave in 50 years so they can see me piss on it. gonna tell em the last thing your dumb dead ass did is try to kill a tank with your sidearm

My ruined outlet

Texted a photo of this burned-out outlet to my electrician and he called me and told me completely deadpan “oh just wipe the black off and it’s fine” and I was like “wait really??” and he started cracking up and was like “no dude sorry, I was kidding, it’s ruined,” and now so is my pride

CHOTINER: and when you're in water you

PARTICLE MAN: don't get wet, that's right.

CHOTINER: And this is because

PARTICLE MAN: the water gets me instead. It becomes particle-manish

CHOTINER: There's been some debate on this point. Triangle Man, for example

PARTICLE MAN: I think we're done here

The kind .. you find … in a second hand store

GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son

"there's a new serif in town"

this is about Steve Cropper and a man once voted "ugliest bartender in Cincinnati"

one small cool detail of Christmas Vacation is that the staple gun Clark uses (an Arrow T-50) is exactly the same as the model sold today. a quality product that always works well, is easy to clear any of jams, and hasn’t been tinkered with in 30+ years

check out my new website where I list the names and addresses of everyone who has ever said something mean about me online. which doesn’t bother me by the way

TRUMP: and this Daniel, he went into the den?

MAMDANI: The lion's den, yes

TRUMP: surely they ate him

MAMDANI: Here's the part where it gets a little Broadway: they didn't

TRUMP: Unbelievable

Shit. bsky.app/profile/ntpn...

I just randomly remembered this “can he shoot?” moment with DLo and Hose Alvarado and I had to go find it. 😆