*saying affirmations in the mirror* I am a big horse. I am a beautiful horse with powerful legs. I am fifteen hands tall. No one can catch me because of my powerful horse legs and wild nature. I have all the apples I want

Strega Nona: Mrs Piggle-Wiggle, I’m here to invite you to the Magical Old Lady Initiative.

I hear that the cats from Cats are going to fight Alf from ALF.

Few will accept this truth: anime is just tv shows

Legitimately afraid of the day I see this @beetlemoses.bsky.social comic and it DOESN'T make me laugh for like, five straight minutes.

Cure is simple. Drive a wooden stake into the vampiric heart of the Great Clown Pagliacci. Only in this way will you free yourself from his melancholic clown curse.

Diana: “Hi, I’m Batman, I think killing is wrong except when it comes to my friends, each of whom I’ve constructed elaborate murder scenarios for.”
Bruce: You’re not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition.
Diana: yeah well you’re also not supposed to fantasize about murdering your friends.

"squirm" "writhe" "slither"

everything a worm does sounds depraved

*jolting upright, drenched in a cold sweat*

The Giver was about a guy who remembered it so you don't have to

Maximus: Once again, the throne is mine. Crystal: Yeah, for now. Maximus: What’s that, my dear sister-in-law/cousin? You think that the rest of the Royal family will somehow band together and overthrow me? Crystal: I’m saying we don’t need to. Every time you take over it takes you a couple of days to realize you hate ruling, become severely depressed and spend months laying motionless in your room eating snack food and watching daytime tv. Crystal: Sure we could take you down but then you’d be back in a couple of weeks trying all over again. It’s easier to just let the whole thing play out. Everything gets wrapped up in less than a week and then you’re out of our hair for months. Maximus: jesusigar fucking christagon

"When your milk has a date on Valentines Day and you don't" [image is a jug of milk with a best before date of Feb 14.]

“But it’s such a small percentage of the money that goes to her.”

Yeah, and she uses it to fund transphobic initiatives. I don’t care if it’s a penny. It’s TOO MUCH.

I can’t care more about fake wizards than real people in need. And you should be ashamed of yourself.

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.

CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?

DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.

C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?

DR: Now look

3 panel comic. Panel 1: man presenting to board room, saying “we have three new emoji ideas.” Panel 2: the page is turned to reveal two incomprehensible horror emojis and a banh mi. Panel 3: the people in the boardroom look concerned. One says uhh… and the other says “the banh mi is cute”

3 panel comic. First panel soldiers are under fire in a jungle and one yells in the talkie talkie “we need air support! Do you copy?!” Second panel a military helicopter flies over the hills and a voice says “yeah…” Panel 3: a capybara is flying the helicopter and he says “I capy.”

Two panel comic. Panel 1: podcast interview setup. The interviewer talks to the guest off panel. He says, “on your last album, you said you ‘came from the mud.’ Isn’t your dad a film producer?” Panel 2: the guest, a mudskipper takes his it’s headphones off and says “this interview is over.”

Early Dungeons and Dragons did not expect characters to adventure forever.

The game had an answer for what came after success.
That's what my new deep-dive video explores.

Now live on YouTube! youtu.be/doXvXzGSzrY

#DnDHistory #OSR #TTRPG

THIS FRIDAY

Moonshot has collected some of the finest creative minds in order to build the SMASH BROS CINEMATIC UNIVERSE.

@jeffstormer.gobirds.online @fourwholemoons.bsky.social @jakemason.bsky.social @corpserevivers.bsky.social @badfuckinpodcasts.com @cohostsherms.bsky.social Jacqueline & Fleur!

A digital drawing of one of those drawing tutorials that says 'don't do this, do this.' The drawing is of an almost naked middle-aged man doing a flying kick. The 'Don't do this' one has a bunch of areas circled and a cross under it. The 'Do this' one is exactly the same but without the circles and a tick instead of a cross. The text reads 'Needlessly adding red circles will ruin your art' and a smaller bit of text at the bottom reads 'Bonus tip! Add a tick under all your art so people think you did it right.'

#3157 A helpful tutorial

FBI agent Fox Mulder holding up a Stand Arrow from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure with Dana Scully looking on in the background

scully you're not gonna believe this

David Lynch would have been 80 today.

Tigatron.

Should be stressed that Scott Adams had nothing to do with the show and that's why it's kinda good.

KEEP STAR TREK OUT OF YOUR FUCKASS MOUTH.

This motherfucker makes the Pakled look like fucking geniuses.

You gotta love a squirrel just running around the zoo. The Bonus Animal

MY BABY LEO!!!!

I shared this with my brother, and he decided that Garfield gloating over Dilbert's grave was insufficient. Since apparently nothing is too petty for my family, please feast your eyes on his work of spite.