Gemma Thomas

It’s unnerving when you’re in full view of Vesuvius and keep hearing explosions #NYE

Remember sending the 11am group text to wish everyone a Happy New Year “before the networks get jammed”

My favourite thing about southern Italy is the 75-year old absolute divas going out to do their shopping in fur coats and sunglasses

14. Also, him showering in a house full of people with the door unlocked is a bit sus

13. That he told Kevin that if he saw him in the shower he’d never grow up feeling like a real man

12. “If Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad”

11. Not giving a shit during “Kevin’s not here”

10. Handing out the shrimp that was for later, and then ignoring his sister-in-law when she complains

9. Getting pissy about not being woken up for the airport, despite being a grown ass adult who is fully capable of waking himself and his kids

8. If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses

7. Trying to get his wife to nick the first class silverware

6. Cracking himself up during the family crisis meeting about one of his nephews playing the drums on his other nephew’s head with candles during a school play, like it’s the funniest joke on earth

5. Calling a 10-year-old a pervert is kind of next level

4. Look what you did you little jerk

3. Telling his kid he has to get up early when the call time is 8am (presumably the same call time for work/school on a regular day, no?)

2. See also “your dad paid good money”

1. This shirking of paying for, or contributing to, the pizza

In a change to our scheduled programming of roasting The Holiday, today we’re going to talk about how Uncle Frank is the real villain of Home Alone / Home Alone 2, and an all-round POS

Second trip to Paris this awards season, but in 2025 I’m finally going to do what I’ve been saying for years and come here for fun

That’s a hard labour offence for sure

There should be jail time for people who don’t pick up and move their tray at airport security and instead stand casually at the conveyor putting on their belt and watch holding everybody up

Have this theory they do Spotify Wrapped at the end of November to avoid all the listening to Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) on repeat up to Christmas skewing the data

It’s exhausting arguing with that level of delusion, so I instead explained to them the concept of extinction burst and walked away whilst they puzzled over how this applied to them.

impose a gag on men as a whole. I was then stunned when they then doubled down and said “in their day” (by their age, the 1980s/90s) they could pinch women on the bottom and they “took it as a compliment” and “nowadays women were woke and uptight.”

I couldn’t help myself. I pointed out that there is a vast gulf between “good morning” and “do you want to eat this Eton Mess off my ****”, particularly in a work environment, and it was pretty pathetic to imply that with people calling out this repeated and predatory behaviour we were trying to

Yesterday I had my first in-person experience of somebody defending the television presenter who’s in the news a lot at the moment. Their feeling on it was “you can’t say *anything* anymore, you can’t even say good morning.” Even though I felt it wasn’t the place to get into it (a funeral wake)

Rivals getting a second season is the news we all needed right

Big up anybody who was drinking wine at the RTS Craft and Design Awards last night and survived the day

Now it’s December we can basically just replace milk with Baileys right

On a flight to Madrid and the seats don’t recline. I’m pretty happy about this, the guy in front of me, less so