The artist formerly known as Mondaydrunk

Not sure Gezzy was too pleased with the Machine's little celebration at the end #thedarts

Sunday scaries all bloody weekend.

The Wrexham "fairytale" is such bullshit that they're one of the few teams where I don't mind a Chelsea win.

I know. I just think it would be so much fun. You'd have meaningful games for everyone to the end of the season. Relegation wouldn't be such a big deal when you've got so many chances to go back up. Spurs and Man Utd would be in the championship this year.

Promote and relegate 8 from each division every season. All those new fixtures each year. No one would bankrupt themselves to go up because you wouldn't need to. Half the championship would have parachute payments. It'd take real commitment to mediocrity to stay in the same division for years!

Ffs pompey.

"if we don't unite progressives..." I'm not actually sure Labour is in any way progressive at this stage.

‘I couldn’t be like that’: Nigel Clough on his dad, keeping it real and preparing for Arsenal Mansfield’s manager hopes his team can handle the occasion when they host the Premier League leaders in the FA Cup fifth round

www.theguardian.com/football/202... give him a ball and a yard of grass. Can't help but like Nigel Clough.

Cracking final in #thedarts

I'm sure people are posting #shadows this week. #photography

MP not seen anything to suspect husband has 'broken any law', after China spy arrests The Met Police suspect three men of assisting Chinese intelligence services in the UK.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... Can't believe they left out the bit about "I've never even had a chow mein. What even is chow mein? Is it some kind of drink?"

As a Pompey fan, I'm still livid about that. I need to let it go, I know.

She’s learnt her lesson about wanting hotels full of foreigners and immigrants being burnt down. See. Prison does work

I think the members actually voted for it. But the top of the party is happy governing for 5 years in 20 because.... No fucking idea.

I recommend this place if you really need something bigger than your standard draught beer.

Mayor pushes on with language lesson cuts in face of protest Greater Lincolnshire’s Mayor Andrea Jenkyns has cut funding for English language lessons from next year – despite claims it will increase division.

Reform: they're sending out leaflets that aren't in English and that's divisive!

Also Reform: www.lincsonline.co.uk/lincoln/mayo...

Yes, I'm probably being too generous with that excuse!

I suppose some might not have realised it was going to be as close fought as it was, what with it being Labour for 100 years. I live in a true blue area (and not in the good Pompey way) and it's bloody boring and feels pointless going to vote for the losing candidates all the time.

The more I hear about inverse proportion, the less I like it.

The Deep Blue Okay - Alt Version

open.spotify.com/track/4p9t4F... bloody hell, this is a cracking version

Lovely little 9 darter. Was beginning to fear for Rocky. #thedarts

It's Fruit Bat for me. My son doesn't watch it any more, but reading that has made me tempted to binge watch the whole lot of them. It's one of the best series ever.

This pic makes it look like Mandelson aims his door key from halfway down the path like some kind of door key sniper.

A first attempt at getting some light trails. I think I took the photo with the train too far into frame and too long an exposure for the two carriages. #photography

I can only ever read "Lord Palmerston" with the voice of Barney Gumble in my head.

GVV beats one Luke to the final, Clayton has smashed the other. The premier league is apparently in Glasgow, but they've resisted the opportunity to give it an "England get battered"?!? #thedarts

Okay, this is quite outstanding from Bedford Council.

Marner definitely not choking

David Squires on … Jim Ratcliffe’s comments and his need for some home truths Our cartoonist reflects on the Manchester United co-owner’s recent statements and electioneering, via the prism of Cracker’s DCI Bilborough

www.theguardian.com/football/pic... Cracking stuff...

They need to send the scouts to Bridlington swimming pool... One of the slides times you on the way down and, I can vouch for this, the dads amongst us trying to set the day's best time we're getting pretty serious when I visited.