Jim Keoghan

Tele Reds - Galatasaray Edition

The first AI to identify as an Evertonian

Everton channelled the power of the Egyptian god Anubis to avoid relegation in 2022

That could be an option for Spurs?

There’s no question he can frustrate

It’s equally seductive at times to fall into the ‘West Ham Trap’ where you think a more expansive manager would be better option

And that might be true in the long term

But considering where Everton were, that’s some turnaround

Tele Reds - Wolves Edition

Toffs

You have 2 young wingers, one of whom cost a bomb. So makes perfect sense to start the lad you were happy to sell a few weeks ago instead of them. The same lad who will be gone in the summer

Starting Keane or Tarkowski over Branthwaite at centre half is mystifying

It’s like choosing to eat in a restaurant with a one star food hygiene rating when there’s a five star next door, secure in the knowledge that you’ve eaten there before and always got the wild shites

Branthwaite is by some distance Everton’s best centre half

I can’t think of many other sides who would take their best central defender and stick him at full back

Hill Dickinson lit up like Xmas. I like to think you can also see it from space too

If the kids are at a loose end this half term, why not get them a copy of The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book?

20 Activities and 30 Colouring Pages

New updated version includes Tyrique George, The Class of 85 and our 95 FA Cup win

Buy Here: tinyurl.com/ykjd75uf

Everton Rules

Player booked for taking quick free kick - nobody else has

Player sent off for hair pull - others haven't been

Player booked for clapping - others don't get punished

Manager booked for celebrating a goal - some teams invade the entire pitch without sanction

Some clubs are just reffed differently

When it comes to forwards, over the last decade, we’ve really been spoiled as fans

Tosun, Rondon, Niasse, Maupay, Beto, Sandro, Barry, Chermiti and Kean - does any club recruit as badly up front as Everton?

No matter the result, Everton routinely serve up a terrible half. Shite second half today, awful first half against Fulham, dire first half against Brighton. Plenty of other examples

It’s like you watch two completely different teams across 90

If anyone ever asks you what it’s like to be an Evertonian, show them minutes 61-69 of this game

Copies of The Little Toffees Activity & Colouring Book are available to buy at the @EvertonHeritage Centre before the match tonight

With 20 Activities and 30 Colouring pages (featuring the Men’s team, Everton Women & a few Legends) it’s perfect for any young Blue

‘Unity is Strength’

The Tele Reds (City Edition)

Amazing the difference it makes once we’re able to spend a bit of cash

Absolutely elevates the team

A gem of a footballer

How Sky will display the top 7

You know a Mykolenko assist is one of the portents of the apocalypse

I know football management is more complicated than it seems but surely
playing your best team and playing people in the positions they’ve spent their careers training in is a given?

he’s one of the few in the squad with a normal name (Jamie)

When I played groots football in Lpool in the 80s, my teams were mostly Dave’s, John’s, Paul’s etc

I now coach my son’s team down south and can field an outfield 10 more reminiscent of a polo team

Leonardo, Hector, Arthur, Chester, Jonty, Xavier, Jasper, Hugo, Stefan &
Simeon

There might be a case to say the Premier League just make things up as they go along...

Everton £19.5m breach - 10 points

Leicester City £20.8m breach - 6 points

Nottingham Forest £34.5m breach - 4 points

Two seasons, two bookings. One for impersonating a seagull, the other for dancing like a Dad whose acca has come in

That’s modern refs for you

At no point in his long managerial career has Moyes produced frustration-free football

He’ll make you competitive, put together sides of likeable hardworking pros, banish the spectre of relegation (mostly)

But the handbrake will always be slightly on

That’s the deal