girlfriend

“if u read this u r gay lol” — sun tzu

staring into the mirror as a 1959 peugeot pulls into my driveway: “will that be ALL, lieutenant? WILL that be all, lieutenant? will that be all, LIEUTENANT? yeah yeah that’s the one.”

ah! i almost forgot the most important part: to leave a personal effect at the scene for columbo to find later. perhaps my boutonnière or one of my many army medals

the opposite of standing on business is sitting on trade

my autistic special interest is union busting

i’m allowed to do it though

i love to use dlscord

DJ Poly D

asking the bus driver if he can make the lighting 2000 kelvin

saw a leonce set at honcho campout a few years ago it was simply transcendent

ordering an ”appy juice” at the bar to ensure the dopamine of getting carded

pauline lettuce. a rabbit who is a film critic for the new porker magazine (boss is pig). feel free to use this as your fursona or as a character on currently-airing popular television show bojack horseman

pat mcafee has passed away. a big old timey piano fell on his head and all of his teeth were replaced by piano keys. we'll miss you pat!

guys i drive a chevrolet movie theater

pat mcafee has passed away. he fell out of a rollercoaster and landed on a cactus. yeowch! we'll miss you pat!

watching skinamarink on the peloton

wow, and you shoot street photography? that's incredible. yes i'd love to see some cinestill 800t photos of a chinese restaurant's neon sign. holy shit, is that a woman carrying an umbrella?

the cake is a lie? more like the cake is ally 🏳️‍🌈 follow for more epic gamer memes

i think you have the correct cunty little silver hair clip to do this role justice

the album cover of destroyer’s “kaputt,” released january 25, 2011

happy 15th anniversary to this diva

Marge stoops down to pick a lit cigarette from the Simpsons dog, Santa's Little Helper, as Bart looks on bemusedly. The dog has been hastily edited to Hello Kitty's Big Challenges, a crudely drawn crocodile. "Bart, don't give Big Challenges cigarettes"

the grinch is anti capitalist and frosty is a treatler

i was labeled the Charlotte of our brunch foursome and said “i’m not a charlotte, i will be attending brunch under protest“ and everyone said “that‘s SUCH a charlotte thing to do”

there’s an episode of quantum leap where he quantum leaps into a chimp’s body and the chimp is at a facility where they test the effectiveness of helmets by hitting the chimps in the head with a huge pneumatic piston. really makes you think!

is the vampire billionaire still wearing dion lee or can we wear that again

(limp bizkit voice) it’s all about the he/they she/they bullshit

reading every olivia nuzzi excerpt and feeling like this

it’s against the geneva conventions to torture a metaphor like this