Scotßboy • 🏳️‍🌈 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 •

a stuffed animal with a pair of scissors in it 's mouth ALT: a stuffed animal with a pair of scissors in it 's mouth

6yrs ago I had a harrowing procedure, and I often (hardly ever) wonder if the government are using my erstwhile foreskin to pilot drones, like with the fictional remains of Jake Gyllenhaal after Taylor strangled him with a scarf, in the Hollywood talking picture ‘Source Code’.

Merry Christmas 🎅🏼

Dad’s funeral tomorrow, despite the worry and apprehension I have written a tribute which I shall read at the service.

Shiubhail m’ Athair an-raoir.

Fois shìorraidh d’a anam.
Caidil gu math.

#Gaidhlig #Gaelic

Whilst I am aware that I possess a sense of humour akin to that paint that swallows everything 💦 up to whatever limit Calpol and Junior Disprin allow, I have entirely self selected to not even tangentially suggest to clinicians trialing the foie gras method to assist in getting my father to eat.

Might have located Patsy Stone.

Kalispera #Rodos #Rhodes #Hellas #Greece

Kalispera

Hospital visit, my Dad went to great lengths to actually spell out that the hospital is a dump, which gave us a laugh, there have been precious few.

“This AI girlfriend can make you cum in 45 seconds”

Oh hen, I’m embarrassed for you, and flaccid. Have a great Monday though.

Like touch and run away?

That’s 7

1 for a wish
2 for a kiss
3 for a disappointment
4 for silver
5 for gold
6 for the middle age onset of the exciting and occasionally dramatic ebb and flow 😅 between constipation and diarrhoea

Idea, sweets based roughly on LoveHearts (but not closely enough to be sued), but with rude or uninspiring words like pigeon or diarrhoea.

A new venture. I’ve just joined therainbowcollective.co a great queer run company that sells prints of queer artists’ work. Check them out. #gayart #gaythemed #gay #queerart #art #artist #gayartist #portrait #portraitpainter #portraitpainting #painter

hello kitty is wearing a blue overalls and holding a red apple . ALT: hello kitty is wearing a blue overalls and holding a red apple .

Do you ever wonder, what IS new in Hello Kitty Island Adventure?

(crotch)

I had to search to learn more about portrait mode in iOS, I was VERY obviously far too focused on the face (and crotch) of the subject to be able to actually notice the difference.

For illustrative purposes.

It’s 10 years since CitySprinter vanished from Glasgow and our dreams of high speed unsafe travel to and from Eastwood Toll were dashed.

I’ve finished work early due to the impending meteor strike.

Oh sorry no, I meant because I’ve got a cold.

Dear The Instagram,

Please standby while I extensively wipe my arse with that soulmate sketch pish.

I don’t think this chicken Kiev has been any further east than Bathgate.

And I mean - I.

Honestly, the THINGS you’ll do to get a Macedonian man to jizz in your mouth.

So you’re basically telling me to freeze it first, yes?

I got myself a toblerone and one to shove up my own arse.

#Miffy is missing from her usual place by the Ijzijde of Amsterdam Centraal Station, as reimagined by myself.