Sam Walker

For me he’ll always be the brilliantly stupid parody version of himself on Don’t Trust the B

Crockett: "The US is falling apart, partially bc he's allowing for killings in the street, but also bc we have a 34 count convicted felon being shielded from any type of accountability as it relates to a child sex trafficking ring. I don't understand why we're pretending any of this is normal."

As I scrolled to this post, Venga Bus is playing in my headphones and it's perfect.

EVERYBODY CAN MAKE ART IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR HUMAN SPIRIT

screencap that says 'all tools: generate podcast"

Opened a PDF and noticed this new monstrosity:

This or just dumping people *in the woods* AND sending folks out w/o their phone or I.D.

Volunteers w/ Safe Haven wait at the gate & do sweeps of the woods, with warm clothes, a burner, and a ride home, "so no one is left alone at the gate."

I donated; pls join me if you can: gofund.me/7d506a3d0

I’m in Brooklyn and back when they finally announced Biden had won, I was cooking breakfast and suddenly heard screams and cheers outside. I hope that’s how I find out again 🙏

there are plenty of reasons Air Force One would suddenly turn around. for example, they may have forgotten Kevin

A glorious chonk.

spongebob squarepants is sitting in front of a computer and screaming internally . ALT: spongebob squarepants is sitting in front of a computer and screaming internally .

A friend had sent me a few videos through Instagram and when I went to view them, it asked if I wanted Meta AI to summarize the messages. They don’t even want us to have attention spans for memes.

Saw Anaconda thinking it would be fun-bad, but it was BAD-bad to an extent that I now have less respect for all the actors involved. I genuinely have no idea how it got made.

In 2026 I want all of the decent people to remember one thing.

You aren’t meant to be this disciplined, this self-sacrificing to survive. The environment is supposed to support good living. We can have that. You are not a failure. That is politics.

That is all.

Some plaster fell off my window frame and water was dripping out, and I texted my super to let him know and he responded ‘I’m not working today, I’m not a slave.’

He is ready to fight The Shredder and Vigo The Carpathian

1st through 26 December festive 27 - 31st December confused filled with cheese unsure of day of the week

Watch the 60 Minutes Segment CBS Didn't Want You to See A Canadian affiliate accidentally posted the segment Bari Weiss killed. It's just a normal 60 Minutes report, which is exactly the problem.

Decided to upload the entire 60 Minutes segment in today's newsletter. Let's see how long it lasts. www.readtpa.com/p/watch-the-...

And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common

wait a minute how are the "your body has gone soft from not eating the raw meats of your ancestors" guys also the "the computer should summarize the big scary email for your inadequate brain" guys

I recommend bringing deviled eggs to the sugar-saturated work holiday function.

I had already made plans in Midtown before acquiring this knowledge. Pray for me.

You will be visited by 3 spirits.

Everyone: Hello, we would like society to improve.

Billionaires: Too bad, go scream into the void instead.

Everyone: Okay.

Billionaires: Also, we have bought all the voids. It now costs $100 to scream into the void.

a combination urgent care and taco bell

I'm at the combination

4 panel comic Panel 1: Red Guy looking way way too happy yells “Hey Guys! Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?” Blue Guy next to him calmly says “Shhh” Panel 2: Blue Guy tenderly puts his arms around Red Guy and says “You don’t have to do this” Panel 3: Blue Guy still holds Red Guy tightly and repeats “You don’t have to do this every year”. Red Guy begins to break. Panel 4: Red Guy dissolves into Blue Guy’s embrace, sobbing. He finally feels the weight of Christmas Discourse lifting from his shoulders. He is finally free.

i’m setting you free. i’m releasing you from the discourse

YESSSSSSS

You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?

I am doomed.

In the subway tonight, saw a gang of Guardian Angels for the first time ever and also an influencer dude carrying a silver platter of sticks of butter with giant cartoon hands. He offered the Angles some butter but they declined.

a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open and his tongue hanging out . ALT: a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open and his tongue hanging out .

I WAS ALL THREEEEE

I’m headed to deep MAGA country this weekend for a wedding and oh how fun would it be for the files to drop before my arrival 🙏

Adam Scott meets the Chicago Pope

'Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone you have to build a civilization. Which is where the spirit cards come in'