Liz

just got served a commercial for Scottsdale AZ, this really is the darkest timeline

Can you ever just tell one of your friends is probably bad at their job

lip filler gf performative mullet bf

RFK jr is like Paul Atreides in that… he becomes the worm

History books are going to have pictures of American elected officials taking selfies in front of an extermination camp. What a hideous stain on one’s legacy, to be remembered as someone who proudly supported this. What an ugly way to choose to live your life.

of course the clouds roll in right after I pick up a fat doinker to enjoy in the sun

I love when the internet crashes out every few years when they discover Ed Sheeran is absolutely covered in atrocious tattoos

I also sometimes sing Baby Shark but replace it with “Crazy Horse”

Crazy Horse do do do do do do

We went to Crazy Horse when we visited Paris, and they sang “I Love Rock & Roll” but changed the lyrics to “I Love Crazy Horse,” and now the Crazy Horse version has become an intrusive thought that I will randomly sing to myself.

I know a clean surface hates to see my boyfriend coming

Sabrina Carpenter and Britt Lower are really doing a lot for bangs

I mean this with my whole chest, if you drive like an asshole I hope you get into a car accident with someone who doesn’t have car insurance and you are financially and mentally burdened and inconvenienced for years.

I lowkey get sad when girls change their last names to their husband’s last name because I recognize them as that iconic first & last name. And now I see their name and i’m like “who is that?” And I start to forget their original last name 😕

“You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means.”

in case anyone was wondering, the new corporate tech slop buzzword is “agentic AI”

where can I find more shitposters on here, i’m trying to recreate 2014 twitter for myself

get a man who makes you feel like he’s a Make-A-Wish kid and you’re his dying wish

“We’re going to do another travel ban!” Bold of you to assume anyone would want to come here

The things people are comfortable saying on LinkedIn is unbelievable. Unhinged content aside, getting on THE JOB WEBSITE and defending things like a nazi salute or Andrew Tate with your name and face and place of work attached??? Literally what the fuck is wrong with you???

idk I like… kind of think 5 years should be enough time to decide if you want to be with someone or not.

I wish “make America great again” just meant making appliances that last for 50 years and designing buildings with unique architecture.

send me your fraternity’s composite and I’ll decide who is in sales or finance

actually there should be MORE people who listen to videos on their phone at full volume at the airport

a cheerleader with a bow in her hair is smiling ALT: a cheerleader with a bow in her hair is smiling

dems showing up in their pink blazers

I think Styx could reunite us as a country

That's fair. Pretty wild it's even an option.

Imagine being “pro-life” and then being fucking stoked a prisoner is being unnecessarily violently executed.🙄 Idc what someone’s stance is on the death penalty but celebrating a cruel & unusual execution of a bad person and comparing it to forced birth actually doesn’t make someone morally superior.

I don’t want much; just to go on a $5,000 shopping spree and spend like a week at a wellness spa.

A cropped screenshot of the Flashes app in the App Store

Congratulations to @flashes.blue for their official launch on the App Store 🎉🎉🎉

It’s an instagram alternative built on the AT protocol 🙌 all the visual scrolling with none of the Meta algorithm

The original girlboss