dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻

Big plates

Jail?

just occasionally there is a good news story

There are still some tickets left for my ill advised GIG in November supporting insanely brilliant Cure tribute the InCureables, if you love Robert Smith you won't be disappointed....

Tickets are here: wegottickets.com/event/667671/

can all the flag shaggers kindly fuck off out of London thanks

ok Jeff Bezos has really gone too far now

this might be the best celebration ever 🎉 🏆 #Lionesses #Euro2025

Amazing stuff from the #lionesses so many heroes on the pitch and a genius off it in Sarina Weigman 🏆

Donald Trump is playing golf in Scotland if anyone wants to go along and show their support

very lucky to see the insanely brilliant Wet Leg at the Electric Ballroom

Cole Palmer wishing Donald Trump would get the fuck off the winners podium is glorious 😄 #ClubWorldCup

I know shocker

perfect comedy timing from the Speaker at #PMQs calling Nigel Farage after Starmer promises to go after “the fraudsters, the grifters, the con artists no matter who they are” 😄

real shame that Cristiano Ronaldo couldn’t be bothered to attend Diogo Jota’s funeral - he had a pressing engagement to tone his suntan aboard his millionaire yacht. what an absolute nobhead 🙄

if you love The Cure… my indietastic band trainboy are doing a gig with The Incureables, the UK’s *best* tribute to Robert Smith & co. Come see us! wegottickets.com/event/667671/

if you know who the person is who the Tories have put up for #PMQs this week well done because no one else does

Yes I’m disappointed it’s false

I’m not sure how your evening is going but I’ve spent the last hour telling ChatGPT how much of a twat it is

amazing apology from the Torygraph about their made up story 🫠 I thought it was an amusing tale so that’s a shame

even Tory Deputy PM Chris Philp's shirt collars are in open revolt against him #PMQs

Is that right…? they’ve only closed a tax exemption

another wee tale of joy 🤩

these schools could make savings on the skiing trips of course….

V good

some happy news to start your weekend with 🥰

just want to post this to annoy all the wrong people 😙

Arise Sir Sadiq!

just a quick reminder that Elon Musk calling out Donald Trump is brilliant and Donald Trump calling out Elon Musk is brilliant but both are still absolutely massive cunts

so just to catch up:

Elon says Trump is a paedo who should be impeached but he didn't have a problem with that when he bought the election for him

Trump says Elon is "mediocre" and a drug addict who definitely did a Nazi salute and should go back to Africa

GIVE ME MORE 🍿

top entertainment 🍿

Elon Musk explaining that he got a black eye from Lil X punching him

EVEN HIS OWN SON HATES HIM 😄

Elon Musk at the Trump conference wondering how long before he can get hold of another bag of ketamine