Ryan

What in the Atlantis Cruise?

Where?

a cartoon duck with a magnifying glass in his hand ALT: a cartoon duck with a magnifying glass in his hand

Which one of y'all just tried to buy a Lexus in Arizona under my identity

This is Fallout energy

Reminder that you most certainly do not need to watch the state of the union tonight. In fact, protect your sanity and don’t. You can read about it afterwards from people who have to watch for their literal jobs.

Right???

Valid

This was TWO years ago. 👴

a woman is sitting on a couch wearing a blazer and a white shirt . ALT: a woman is sitting on a couch wearing a blazer and a white shirt .

Next week is March

I do not want to get off this couch

I need to trim my beard

Was that turbulence? No, it was RAMONE!

Dark room in the lounges?

Happy Friday!

a cartoon character wearing a pirate hat is eating a bowl of cereal . ALT: a cartoon character wearing a pirate hat is eating a bowl of cereal .

Captain Crunch. I like the way it cuts up the roof of my mouth.

Happy Hump Day

"I think there's been a disconnect" is the corporate-speak equivalent of "You are a fucking dumbass"

Lighting was good this morning

When your room looks kind of weird
And you wish that you weren't there.
Just close your eyes and make believe
And you can be anywhere.

This would be a funny short film

I think that it would be hilarious, and somewhat more likely, that SkyNet won't be created by some Mega-Corporation, but by Steve from accounting trying to automate accounts payable during a vibe-coding session.

Does anyone actually enjoy a corporate town hall? Am I just super jaded?

Or better yet, move the superbowl to Saturday

It should be generally understood that if your city wins the superbowl that everyone takes the next day off.

Watching Curling for the plot

I could pull off glasses 🕶️

I might have a concussion because I seriously read this as "Super Mario joke* and was very confused for a while.

Ouch. Bowl jumped out of the cabinet and hit my nose.

My internet brain read this as "gooning at 4:12 am"

a woman says i 'm gonna go spend my time doing exactly what i want to do because i don 't ALT: a woman says i 'm gonna go spend my time doing exactly what i want to do because i don 't

Me hearing my coworkers talk about their weekend plans with their kids