@jaywalker67
Lions don't have to tell you they are lions. They just are. Celebrate YOU: BE it & DO it! Happy • Dad • Hubs • Brother • Son • Friend • Ally • He/Him • Gen X • Humor Doer • Writer • ERA • LAMP • ADHD • PNW • DEM • Umpire • Thinker • Dreamer • Spy
EVERY HEADLINE EVERY DAY:
BREAKING: President Epstein Files started a war with the Epstein Files because the people of the Epstein Files were protesting about the Epstein Files while the Epstein Files have been warring against the Epstein Files for Decades.
[did I mention the Epstein Files?]
Sunday morning. Grassy knoll in the hotel parking lot. 15 minutes in. Pissing rain. Labrador with his leash on, sniffing.
Me: (drenched) come on, would you just poop already?
Dog: hmm. Fresh piss. Hints of pine, roses. What's that? Butterscotch? Oh. She'll be in heat in a couple months.
Women skiers have the craziest names.
Breezy
Picabo
Lindsey
In the 60's young people spoke out against tyranny.
They're 80 now & we're running out.
We need more young people
-speaking their minds.
-outraged.
-creating art & music.
-angry.
Yes. We have some but not enough.
I'm talking to YOU Gen Z.
This is your moment.
Do you want this or will you fight?
Feeling like a Duran Duran album.
Seven and my ragged ass...something or other.
Hear me out.
Andrea Bocelli singing "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred.
Agreed. But I keep coming back to this. Is mom on the toilet?
I don't even think Epstein is mentioned as many times as Donald.
And they're HIS files.
We shall not, we shall not be moved
We shall not, we shall not be moved
Just like a tree that's planted by the water
We shall not be moved
We shall not, we shall not be moved
We shall not, we shall not be moved
Like a tree that's planted by the water
We shall not be moved
I'm not a magician...
but I once turned a back rub, into two kids and a mortgage.
I love gravy.
When I think of ROUX
I touch myself.
So sick & tired of the fake outrage coming from the Dems in Congress. About as useful as thoughts & prayers. No one buys your sad bullshit.
Get this through you head. Trump is going to whatever the FUCK Trump wants to do until YOU stop him.
He knows it & worse, SO DO YOU!
That's hot!
Bout as hot as two rats fucking in a wool sock behind the dryer.
If he could just go to sleep and never wake up again, that would be great
🤞
Trump's BULLSHIT is fucking illegal!
Special Independent Counsel, NOW!
Stop the hand ringing, grow some balls and DO something!
Would someone please explain how Trump is involved in the releasing of the Epstein files?
How is it that he or anyone that he controls is able to make whatever changes they want & tamper with evidence of a crime in which he is involved?
We need an independent council.
Vance couldn't lead a MAGAt to a turd.
When Trump dies this whole thing crashes like a house of cards and your handwringing about it is why your paper is finished.
Bondi "Whiffed" the Epstein files because she stinks.
FUCK THAT GUY!
-which one?
Doesn't fucking matter. All of 'em.
So grandpa what did you do while HITLER tried to conquer the world?
-I enlisted, fought the Battle of the Bulge & your Uncle Ed was killed.
60 YEARS LATER.
Paw Paw. What did you do while TRUMP destroyed America?
-Plenty. First I was worried sick, then I looked at TikTok about it.
Marriage Conundrum #873:
Me:
I really like your fudge but I'm not a big fan of your mom's.
Spouse:
Why? I make the exact same fudge recipe. In fact it's one she got from her mom.
Me:
But yours is SO much better. Not even close, dude.
MIL:
Well fuck you then! See if I ever make you anything.
Dear Farmers who STILL support Trump.
Your parents must be SO PROUD!
Oink, oink here and an oink, oink there.
E-I-E-I- HO!
Trying to convince my puppy not to eat poo. Especially her own.