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@id-redacted

Vice President in Charge of Calzones. Locally-sourced, handcrafted, artisanal not-tweets.

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15.11.2024
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Latest posts by [redacted] @id-redacted

Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm doing workplace harassment training and I'm almost old enough to file age discrimination complaints.

23.10.2025 15:26 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Kinda telling that the couple looks over 40 and the dude’s beard is graying. That’s when you buy a house in the modern worldβ€”if at all.

18.10.2025 13:12 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Just had to explain to my wifeβ€”famously not a film personβ€”why β€œGoodbye Horses” is so culturally significant.

09.10.2025 22:16 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Tom Pelphry is great in Task, but I’d love to see how much money they offered Jon Bernthal.

27.09.2025 00:20 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It’s hard to feel bad for giant pharmaceutical companies, but man, Tylenol has caught some strays over the years.

23.09.2025 14:53 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus OREM, UTβ€”As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University ad...

Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus

11.09.2025 19:41 πŸ‘ 25997 πŸ” 5122 πŸ’¬ 441 πŸ“Œ 324

This is why the Devils still don’t have a Cup.

05.09.2025 12:09 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Gotta own those libs, baby.

02.09.2025 21:07 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Whenever β€œUse Me” by Bill Withers comes on I’m instantly back at Orlando’s with @audacityofdespair.bsky.social.

26.08.2025 00:02 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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a close up of a person 's hand holding a black and purple jacket . Alt: a close up of a person 's hand holding a black and purple jacket . It's the character Michael Scott after he accidentally bought a women's suit.

Michael Scott after he accidentally bought a women's suit

21.08.2025 02:59 πŸ‘ 362 πŸ” 4 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

this is why i tell people to try ready-to-wear first. custom is risky bc you can be out here railing against "white hippies and communists," but your tailor has you looking crazy without a breast pocket.

21.08.2025 02:56 πŸ‘ 4006 πŸ” 257 πŸ’¬ 73 πŸ“Œ 15
a woman in a blue skirt suit

a woman in a blue skirt suit

a woman in a blue skirt suit

a woman in a blue skirt suit

have only seen this on women's jackets bc of the difficulty of getting an out-breast pocket to lay correctly over a curved bust

21.08.2025 02:30 πŸ‘ 2038 πŸ” 61 πŸ’¬ 49 πŸ“Œ 5

stephen miller's tailor forgot to give him a breast pocket

21.08.2025 02:23 πŸ‘ 6054 πŸ” 501 πŸ’¬ 512 πŸ“Œ 104

It’s the most perfect comedic timing possible. It’s a masterclass in editing.

25.07.2025 01:22 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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when they close it all up, I do believe this will go down as the funniest video on the internet

24.07.2025 19:51 πŸ‘ 19663 πŸ” 4355 πŸ’¬ 666 πŸ“Œ 605

There’s a fine line between CLINT EASTWOOD and CUNT EASTWOOD*.

*This observation is highly font-dependent.

13.07.2025 19:50 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

The number of necklaces and/or bracelets a man wears is inversely proportional to his mental health.

11.07.2025 20:11 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The free market* at work!

*have to pay an extortionate bribe to an autocrat to say true things and continue operating

02.07.2025 04:39 πŸ‘ 1422 πŸ” 210 πŸ’¬ 27 πŸ“Œ 5

I walked 11 miles and burned over 900 calories today. All it takes is losing a kitten. Try my new fitness plan.

27.06.2025 02:56 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Talk is cheap. Time to act. Do something.

12.06.2025 20:23 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I suspect a downstream effect of everyone in this administration sincerely believing their own propaganda is that they thought LA was entirely effete Hollyweird sickos who would cry about pronouns as opposed to like, rude Chicano teens with full-chest Morrissey tattoos

12.06.2025 19:33 πŸ‘ 203 πŸ” 22 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1
Screenshot of a post on Truth Social from Donald Trump on 12 June 2025 at 9:43am EDT. 

Text reads: "Our great Farmers and people in the Hotel and Leisure business have been stating that our very aggressive policy on immigration is taking very good, long time workers away from them, with those jobs being almost impossible to replace. In many cases the Criminals allowed into our Country by the VERY Stupid Biden Open Borders Policy are applying for those jobs. This is not good. We must protect our Farmers, but get the CRIMINALS OUT OF THE USA. Changes are coming!"

Screenshot of a post on Truth Social from Donald Trump on 12 June 2025 at 9:43am EDT. Text reads: "Our great Farmers and people in the Hotel and Leisure business have been stating that our very aggressive policy on immigration is taking very good, long time workers away from them, with those jobs being almost impossible to replace. In many cases the Criminals allowed into our Country by the VERY Stupid Biden Open Borders Policy are applying for those jobs. This is not good. We must protect our Farmers, but get the CRIMINALS OUT OF THE USA. Changes are coming!"

Sounds like Trump has realized that demanding ICE meet arbitrary arrest quotas means they're only going to arrest the people in easy-to-find locations, and that it's hurting him politically

12.06.2025 15:54 πŸ‘ 298 πŸ” 61 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 7
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ICE agent at a workplace raid: β€œyou guys understand we have a signed warrant to be here”

Worker: β€œAnd here’s my bag of f^cks”

12.06.2025 16:31 πŸ‘ 201 πŸ” 56 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 13

I forgot you’re there now. No wonder this is happening.

12.06.2025 00:26 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

A short scroll warned of widespread wildfires, catastrophic flooding, rampant data privacy issues with airlines, and impending recession.

10.06.2025 16:30 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Call J.G. Wentworth
The best care a pet can get

07.06.2025 01:35 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

@blankcheck.bsky.social Did anyone pitch β€œCasters of the Lost Pod” as the Spielberg title?

02.06.2025 13:29 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Whose idea was it to reboot Aerosmith? Yeah, you know the song.

26.05.2025 20:03 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Essential oils? Come on now. At most, they’re optional oils.

25.05.2025 00:08 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

And now β€œFast Car.” Hmm. Something fishy’s going on here.

24.05.2025 00:24 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0