Chris χ Butler

I don’t much care for surviving this anymore

And I think I’m ok with that

I just want to give up, but I’m not allowed to. No one will let me. I’m not supposed to—it’s wrong to even want to

But no one cares

They’d rather accept any continued suffering than understand what this is like, that it’s been like this for a very long time

I’m just tired. Of trying to care.

And I always have to “get back up” and “keep going” and “keep trying”

And it all just feels like insanity to me, now

Because what’s the point when nothing changes, when nothing gets better

Why can’t anyone help me, why does nothing change

How much longer must I put up with this

I wish things could be different

I’ve spent so many years doing what I could with what I had to try and change things, to get better

And nothing works

Something always goes wrong

I always just have to live with it or deal with it

Nothing can just get better

BRUH

Thanks so much, I appreciate it

For now, im just trying to focus on finding what I can actually do. For awhile now I’ve just sort of been frozen

The rhythm and the cadence of the world are just…off…and honestly that’s the hardest part

Especially now that the only person who was ever really able to help me is gone

I just don’t want this to be my life, anymore, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that, what there even is that could be done

And it just feels like nothing matters anymore

And I’m just…really tired…

And I just hate this

I hate all of this

I just want things to be different

I don’t want this to be my life

I just wish that things could be different

That I could get better and move on from all this

But it instead, it just feels like I’ll be stuck with this for the rest of my life

He understood when there was something wrong. He was the person I could trust to really hear me when I cried out

And not having him here anymore…

…I’ve not been taking it very well…

It’s been a month, and it feels like things have just gotten so much worse

It’s scary

And I honestly just have no idea what’s been happening with me, what’s going on, and it’s to the point where there’s just this stuff in my head that doesn’t make any sense anymore

And my dad was, like, the one person I could go to when I needed help

Like, I just had a serious car accident. Totaled the car, too. But when you’re driving and then suddenly you find yourself in a hospital, and you’re listening to a doctor telling you what happened and how you were basically not behaving like yourself, like you were some entirely different person…?

It’s also coming at a real bad time, because I’m just recently learning there’s a pretty serious dissociative aspect to the shit I’ve been dealing with most of my life.

I don’t even truly know how far back it goes—potentially as far back as my childhood, and it’s just super-scary…

I’m not on here much

Last few months have been real tough

My dad died

I miss him terribly

I hadn’t appreciated how much we talked, how he was basically my best friend. Not being able to share things with him, to listen to him, and ask him things, to ask for his help when I need it?

It’s rough…

#Invictus@117

Happy #217-Day, fellow Spartans!

“Spartans never die…”

RIP Kurt-051

Among the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

(To point out, the new episode only just dropped like 7 hours ago and I wrote the quoted skeet 3 days ago based off the first two episodes)

Holy fuck, am I right?!?!

Lol

Working that super power once again

Too bad it has ZERO real-world utility

OMG 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

your honor, my client luigi mangione is innocent. he was just demonstrating the true power of having "looks that could kill." the only thing criminal is his bone structure.

…because the figureheads in control of the system would otherwise lose the comfort/privileges they currently enjoy, and that part of the story of the kids’ eventual return home will be freeing their planet from the stranglehold of these antiquated traditions meant to preserve massive wealth.

…that there’s now this myth of a hidden “treasure planet” safeguarding a massive pool of wealth

And something tells me they’ve kept themselves hidden for this purpose, and that maybe the leadership are *continuing* to hide themselves and force their society to maintain “the great work”…

…which have to mingle with one another in a massive trading system spanning the entire galaxy.

If they control the credits and their respective values when set against the old-school credits, that might explain why, after the fall of The Republic, rise of the Empire, and its subsequent fall…

…their job became more important: the brief excerpts we’ve gotten showing their intense education on using/comparing matrices with each other could be used to compare different systems of credit used by different planets/systems…

These first two episodes have me thinking that the “Great Work” of their society is basically maintaining the credits system for the entire Galaxy

Their mint-condition Old Republic credits are basically like the gold standard: especially when Palpatine took over and the official credits changed…

It really is quite touching.

I haven’t seen something bring people together like the UnitedHealth CEO assassination since the release of Pokémon Go.

We've ALWAYS been here.

I’m down, always been hopin to join a writing posse

My discord is **super** basic, I made it initially for a few friends and my brother when we game, but it’s hardly been used for anything, so it’s just sitting there, but it can be repurposed!

a man in a suit and hat is sitting in a chair with the words `` i mean '' written on the screen . ALT: a man in a suit and hat is sitting in a chair with the words `` i mean '' written on the screen .

So, like, I’ve got a discord…jussayin