Amelia Hanslow

But what about toilet paper?

That's the time to punch, according to Hegseth - when they are down.

Juno decides a gnaw of an old kangaroo tail she's secreted in the garden, and then cuddles and breath into my nauseous face are all the right things to do in that order. Butter wouldn't melt and if I puke on her she would almost definitely lick it up.

I remembered a bag of frozen raspberries from the mountains and I am now probably over optimistic about the tummy bug healing properties of a yogurt, local honey and said berries smoothie. Here's to optimism and keeping it out of reach of the pup, who is going into ecstasies on the aroma of it.

That time when new rescue dog is so relaxed they are a dead weight asleep over your feet and you'd rather cramp every limb than disturb them.

Does everyone in my ken deliberately start vacuuming when I ask if I can watch sport or the news. I literally did not turn on telly all day and this is like why? Why do you think vacuuming is cool while I catch up on soccer. I think everyone hates me.

Oooo, cancelling the mid terms. Now there's a decent theory.

Yeah, I'm old enough to remember that being a thing my parents said to me. And it has occurred to me more than once these days that critical thinking and research capabilities are more important than ever. I studied internet research before Google was invented... so that's kinda Medieval Studies?

That could be something to be planned out for. Drinking cheap red wine in front of a train documentary while taking the callouses of my feet. In a dressing gown? I feel that might have to be added in there.

Nothing tickles my funny bone more than being scolded. One of my favourite words. As opposed to scalded. Which is never amusing.

I don't think I should have more Gaviscon. I don't think it's the magic bullet my sore tum requires. And yes, I tried ginger tea and promptly threw it up. Haven't had this sore a tum since a very short and very sharp night in rural Afghanistan when I spent time wondering if stomachs can actually pop

I hope SBS has something appropriate for my 50th. Otherwise it might be splurging on that foot shaving tool that keeps popping up in my FB feed.

My Dad thinks I am super black humoured but my Mum can even rock me. I think I just see humanity and humour in everything. But I wouldn't be the person to align with in a zombie apocalypse. I actually think there aren't enough well written rom coms. The problem is most of them suck.

Oh that does sound interesting. I'd read the book.

Jeez that was my 40th. But I was also watching a real time train journey show. While getting divorced. I take country music to heart.

Yep, that's so a new Bill Callahan album. And there's a point when my heart stops a little bit. And I feel all the feels.

Level of seeking distraction is reading about the Empress Matilda, who turns out to be quite interesting and that Stephen seems like a right prick. And times may be yick right now, but I wouldn't like to be living in The Anarchy, UK. Mildly shite Tasmania is better.

Sweetie likes to collect things on her lounge room bed. Cannae put any food down for one sec and shoes are some kind of ownership.

I'm a fan of better yesterday roses. It's a fact that the aroma is better when they are a bit blown. Happy Day!

Am seeing reporting that Noem was repositioned due to her alleged affair. I have spent a lifetime it seems sticking up for journalism, but I'm having a problem with that take.

One of the best philosophies I've taken on board is to pay forward. I was totally surprised today to get a delivery of my Mum's birthday present I ordered yonks ago. Her bday is not for another month, but now I don't have to scramble around last minute and that's lovely.

Fairly certain family will do their ringing as soon as the news starts.

I have to say one of my pet peeves is highly educated and multilingual spokespersons pretending to not understand questions.

I used to smuggle Guinness in a water bottle to school. Of course that small amount of stout wouldn't have gotten me even tiddly, but it was doing a subversive act that was the point for me for St Paddy's. I don't even know where that came from but it came from somewhere up the tree.

I literally spent a red hot two seconds letting the dog out to do her business and walked back in wheezing like a bagpipe. This is your Hay Fever in Tasmania canary alert.

O. That's awesome news in a week of rather bad news. Merci!

Awww, look I actually couldn't hum a tune of her's but it's very much a safe Celine-vibe. This house is voting for Look Mum No Computer but I don't wish the lovely canary a bad run.

"exquisite intelligence". No, I just can't, no.

There are lots of people who are good sorts who vote in ways that a person doesn't agree with. What is egregious is not that they are of a certain party but that they will reject Australian citizens and Australian children thus perpetuating hate and terrorism. The stance and policy is what matters.