Maybe we're all Jim Carrey
02.03.2026 15:29
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Maybe we're all Jim Carrey
<Chocolate Rain voice>
Toxic mums
And they'll still argue the toss that we didn't Brexit *properly*, i.e. in a way they were promised that wasn't actually possible
Sure, sex is great but have you experienced that 5 secs of peace where you walk around the car to get your kid out of the car seat and realise you haven't taken a breath in quite a while
"Firstly, happy birthday..."
Bet there's a bunch of Encarta Encyclopedia discs in that drawer
Also you can't make phonecalls without the risk of your parent/sibling listening in on the other line
Off he went with a trumpety trump
Hahahaha
People of Britain! This Wednesday you can catch my R4 special Eleanor & Pals, a character comedy show starring me and Zara Gladman, and featuring everyone's favourite sad man, Craig!
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...
Jake Humphrey wants a word
Shit's pretty fucked hey
Honestly, you go through life just assuming everyone is fully aware of MF DOOM, then you're hit with the reality check
I'm so sorry for anyone I may have let down in making this generalisation, and hope your life can continue on a better, more enriched path
Sorry, don't mean to burden you with all this, I know it's a LOT
- it's ok, I'm literally your therapist
Finally got my tax return in, on the 637th of January
So sorry to hear this mate, hope you're doing ok
Thank you for sharing your truth
A fuckwit:
Call me a fuckwit but I ain't nothing to fuck wit
<in Wacky Races> Kajagoogoo
Ah damnit, so close to qualifiying
Stat-padding here
If only Vashti Bunyan had gone with Just Another Drying Day
It's fallen off a cliff
Whilst composing this skeet
My new drag name
Oh great, my new insoles have arrived to sort my foot pain
Wait a minute...
Why was Dave Gahan followed around by a black dog?
Because he was in depresh mode
I assume Tommy Ten Names/Tel Aviv Steve is organising free speech rally right now.
Renee tshirts and placards everywhere.
😔 so fucked up
Reading it like this just shows how terrifying and insane it is