Alex

Why must we keep fucking with the Snatch Game formula 😑

Btw I need to eat this every day or I die

I just wana hit my little pen play my little games and eat my little snacks

Like if I still had my 2000 Toyota Camry I would be singing a different tune

Super down with physical music media but I am BEGGING my favorite artists to stop with the cassette tape releases 😩

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
have treatment resistant IBS
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

Love this album 🖤

Imagine waking up and finding out your hateful rhetoric and distain for your fellow man was cultivated and groomed by a group of billionaire pedophiles for the last decade lmao

I’m laughing at my desk because I had an intrusive thought of Mr Krabs when he made that one guy unwatch a movie lmao

I reluctantly went to Denver to meet up with friends and I can humbly say I was not familiar with it’s game. Very fun city.

Look at this dumb little guy I just got

I dgaf how non-toxic it is I’m not running around out here slathering my skin in beef fat

Decided to just let my 673 day Duolingo streak die

Not to be mean but they remind me of Jimmy Pesto Jr 😗

Y’all mind if I lib out a little?

I tried an apple fritter for the first time in my life at 35 today…have they always hit that HARD?!😩

A bat tattoo I got because I am in the throes of a midlife crisis

Look at this fricken bat tattoo I just got. I love Halloween

I love that this is what we receive in exchange for letting the oceans boil

Yeah I got my hand slapped but still employed!

Apparently an anonymous coworker was offended by my comments on recent events and now I have a meeting with hr 🫥

Just realized I’m flying on 9/11. I almost forgot!

Really needed to clean my glasses at the bear bar but we are all wearing mesh tops ☹️

My bf surprised me with a Switch 2 😩. I haven’t played games in years I’m so excited

I never engage with people on flights, but this older chatty couple I sat next to out of Boston treated me like their son for 6hrs and bought me 3 vodka sodas + dinner on the flight lol. They refused my bashful no thank yous and it was really sweet

Just did a cold brew and dab combo like I don’t suffer from an anxiety disorder

☝️🤓 ”I asked AI and…” - man, if you don’t shut the fuck up

Kerri and Bosco have had me sliding up and down that damn Kinsey scale I’ll tell you that

My favorite John Redcorn scene. RIP

Rewatching season 4 for Jiggly 😢

Thank you for calling 911! It appears you aren’t a 911+ subscriber. To submit your emergency request please sign up for a plus subscription of $19.99/month, or listen to 2 ads to gain access to a representative. You may also use water ration credits if you are a 911-lite subscriber ❤️⛑️