“I’ve read 50 books this year”
No you haven’t. You listened to 50 while you were driving to and from work or folding laundry.
Reading is active, listening is passive. I will fight you over this
Everyone with a Pennsylvania license plate drives like they just found out about cars yesterday and I’m over it
Yeah I’m old. After work I got my hair cut and figured “I’m already out, it’s Friday, might was well go to the bar to eat and get some drinks.”
Home and in bed by 10
I live in a townhouse on a street of townhouses and yet I have a psycho neighbor who flips out about people being “on his property” and now he has a security camera pointing DIRECTLY into my back yard. He’s gonna love it when I put up a sign in my yard that blocks it completely. Get fucked
I love that Microsoft keeps getting offended by everyone calling them Microslop and therefore Streisanding it and making it worse
I like snowboarding. I like beer
If you need Mark Wahlberg, Chris Pratt, and Gwen Stefani pushing an app on you to get you to pray a consistent prayer schedule is the least of your issues
Imagine winning an Olympic gold medal and still being perceived as huge losers
Nice to see that Adam Sessler is still a miserable dickhead
They always name curves after people who couldn’t get around them without dying
Not surprised that the USA men’s hockey team is full of MAGA dingleberries. Hockey is an entitled rich kid sport in the US
There a 50km cross country skiing event in the Olympics. I’m assuming it’s just The Long Walk on skis and the last one alive gets gold
We’ve got alt girls with lip piercings winning gold in figure skating and dropping f-bombs on live TV. That’s the America that I like
The women’s snowboard slopestyle final is the second event I’ve seen ruined by horrible judging that makes no sense. #Olympics
Well, my already small friend group got smaller last night. I just don’t understand how you can be married, in your 30s, have a good job and still end up doing coke in your car in a dive bar parking lot. I’m done with the white trash loser shit
So far two different social media platforms have either straight up suspended me or asked me to edit my comment for using the word “bootlicker”
Tech billionaires, please keep protecting this pedophile government and its worshippers. I’ll buy VIP tickets when we roll out the guillotines
I’m pretty pissed that a decent chunk of my paycheck gets taken from me and given to a government run by billionaire pedophiles who then use the money to carry out vendettas against the people in states the Pedophile in Chief doesn’t like
Attention asshole chefs, everything you have ever made for anyone has come back out of them within 24-48 hours as a stinky brown log. Relax a little bit
Hey social media platforms, no you will not get my driver’s license or face scans to prove I’m an adult.
And drop the “protect the children” shit. It’s the parents’ jobs to parent what their kids do online. We know you’re all in bed with the government and handing over data. Fuck off
Fuck NBC for kicking the curling gold medal match to peacock. Their Olympic coverage has been dogshit for years and no one wants your garbage streaming service
When it comes to working why can’t I just show up and work? Why are there hours plans, charge codes, utilization percentages and 6 other different metrics that I have to be aware of?
That’s the shit that drives me nuts
Please identify the US Marshal that kicked the puppy so I can hunt him down and beat the fuck out of him
I’m a straight man and I’m sick of seeing Sabrina Carpenter in her underwear
There is no other group of humans in the US dumber than MAGA bootlicker bros who think they identify with The Punisher. Completely devoid of media literacy
Making better life choices lately. Instead of sitting at bars alone, not talking to anyone, and spending $20 on 4 beers I’ve been spending $17-18 on 12 packs and sitting home alone playing video games.
I am the master of my domain of my male loneliness journey
Not all pedophiles are billionaires but all billionaires are pedophiles
Harmless roofers, cleaning ladies, and preschoolers are getting thrown in concentration camps but assholes who don’t go when the light turns green because they’re staring at their phones get to walk free
Happy Saturday
Donald Trump raped and trafficked young girls
President Donald J Trump fingered very young girls to test their “tightness” before auctioning them off.
American flag emoji and bible-verse-in-bio people will continue to defend this
