I thought a cock tease was just someone showing off their chickens.
07.03.2026 07:09
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I thought a cock tease was just someone showing off their chickens.
how long until the bodies in the closet become skeletons? asking for a friend
i feel like this is all happening cause we stopped pumping up the jam
I bet Lewandowski is gonna abandon that Mar a Lago faced sinking ship too.
The lack of media coverage about the bombing of the girls elementary schools is shocking.
Who among us doesn't want bolder brows?
Do you think they gave Britney a breathalyzer or just viewed her last social media post?
The blood flooded elevator scene…
look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
Find yourself someone who salutes your red flags.
Wednesday would be a lot better if you go fuck yourself.
just over here tryna make the masses laugh thru the horrors
Magician: The hand is quicker than the eye.
Eric “Slowhand” Clapton: The hell you say.
You come into my house and expect me to be wearing pants?! The nerve.
*raises the bar*
Bar: “put me down”
anyone up for a naked hula hooping contest
I simply do not understand why aliens don’t want to abduct me
I think more ceos should have to consume their product on a tik tok so get on it guy that runs clorox
So many people unfollow me when I say gross sex stuff like they forget this is the internet and that’s basically its entire purpose.
I talk a lot of shit for someone who takes an hour to stand up straight after waking up.
Public baseball field surrounded by a chain link fence. On the fence is a small rectangular white sign that says "park at own risk athletic field."
Weird name for an athletic field.
I played a game with my friend called “New York Times headline or Something My Ass Wrote” and he lost
(dragged off in handcuffs)
Dateline: surprisingly, neighbours described him as an obnoxious loudmouth who stuck his nose in everyone's business
Bout to get wild and not set an alarm for tomorrow!
