𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚕𝚒

I couldn't appear on the Laura Kuenssberg show as I'm in the US doing important work for my Clacton constituents, who want me to undermine the UK by sucking up to an unhinged authoritarian pedo.

What’s your view on cauliflower cheese with a roast?

Well done - took me over a minute, not helped by unresponsive tiny phone keyboard. I should stick to iPad!

It’s more than 3 years since the last series of #TheCapture - I’d almost forgotten about it and nearly missed the start of S3 tonight.

Well what a load of old shit that was. I expected nothing less but at least I’ve seen it, finally.

History repeats

I thought the best person to talk to Laura Kuenssberg about the important moral and ethical issues of the day would be Robert Jenrick, the man who overruled a planning decision to save a billionaire pornographer £45m in exchange for a £12,000 donation.

Screenshot from ‘Toomorrow’ - Olivia and Benny are on the spaceship and Benny just said “huh?”

Just what I’ve been thinking for the last 45 minutes. #Toomorrow

I’d like some cake please. I tried to get my sweet fix from a Tesco cholesterol lowering strawberry yoghurt drink, but believe it or not readers, it wasn’t a shitsworth of use.

Is it shitsworth or shit’s worth? Probably the latter, but I think it’s earned its right to be a compound word by now.

I genuinely wouldn’t put it past those idiots.

I’m watching the ‘remastered’ Toomorrow on Prime right now. Looks like it’s been remastered from an old VHS.

Livvy is as cute as a button, of course, and Benny Thomas was pretty hot back then too.

Don’t worry, they won’t forget care homes. They’ll fly union flags on those too.

No drone has hit Dubai Marina. It was debris from a successful interception Everyone is ok.

No drone has hit Dubai Marina. It was debris from a successful interception Everyone is ok. Stay calm, everyone is safe.

No drone has hit Dubai Marina. It was debris from a successful interception

No drone has hit Dubai Marina. It was debris from a successful interception.

I wonder if a drone has hit Dubai Marina. Or whether it was just
debris from a successful interception.

If only loads of Dubai based accounts, including Isabel Oakeshott's, could tell me.

Geoff and his sugar-stealers

Lots of noises next door of the diy type. Not usual as it’s an elderly lady who lives there. Wonder if she’s dropped off the twig?

Boris Johnson says Keir Starmer has made us an irrelevance on the world stage...

Which egregious do you mean? 😄

Reporter: Did the US bomb an elementary school and kill 175 people? Trump: Based on what I’ve seen, it was done by Iran. Reporter: Is that true Mr. Hegseth? Hegseth: We’re investigating. Trump: It was done by Iran. They are very inaccurate with their munitions.

this is unspeakable

This 98 Year Old 78 Record is MINT! I Wanna Be Loved By You ~ Helen Kane - On Modern Turntable GREAT YouTube video by The Phonograph Stop

youtube.com/watch?v=-Z7L...

I dread it but can just about manage it in around 5-10 mins now

Have I left it too late to fill up the car with petrol?

Or this @bobbyllew.bsky.social

“That’s abroad innit?”

Dear Barry Took,

Why oh why oh why does the BBBC expect us to get behind a Eurovision entry we had no say in?

Yours truly

Residents of East Angular.

🏆

Yes it is sad - I suspect for every person who just doesn’t wash out of ignorance, there is another who is genuinely struggling. Soap is cheap but it’s not as simple as that.

The plan was to eat half of what I just cooked, but guess what?

Go on, guess

Hmm, none of the above. Stale, unwashed clothes.

I’m so old I’ve already passed my Meldrew Point.

I think this means my opinions are prob better than yours (more life experience), I have more right to moan, and you have to make more allowances for my age when I step out of line.

Apart from all the aches + pains, I think that means I’m winning.

Well I suppose my courgettes won’t grate themselves. Recipe to follow.