His Name Was Dantron

Nice

What all you put in that?

I recently learned that in British slang you can say something or someone "is jokes" if funny. She's jokes, innit. Absolutely horrifying stuff.

Vigo from “Ghostbusters 2”

Vigo from “Ghostbusters 2” has been named the new Secretary of Homeland Security

markwayne mullin sounds like an npc you would meet and eventually have to put down in red dead redemption

He should get in a submarine with all of his friends if he’s that mad.

Headline of a Q&A in New Yorker formatting Headline: A panicked middle-aged man refuses to tell me directions to the bathroom. Subhed: Please, I just have to pee. I'm in a hurry. By Isaac Chotiner March 4, 2026

Excuse me. Oh, God. Oh, no. Holy shit. Get away from me. I was wondering if you knew where the bathrooms are. Look, I'm ... it's not a crime to scroll through your high school girlfriend's Instagram account. We remained friends after high school! I was at her wedding! It's only natural to see how she's doing.

I'm in a bit of a hurry, and I'm afraid that if I choose the wrong corridor, I'll be late for my train. I think they're down that way, but I'm actually from out of town. Please stop talking to me.

Real quick, though. I agree that it's natural to be interested in an old friend, but aren't you afraid about the message you might be sending by liking a picture of her at the beach from 2015? If that did happen, and I'm only going off your word, it was probably an accident. They put the ... scroll bars or whatever ... close to the thumbs up button. People have been complaining about that for years. I've been complaining about that for years.

Probably get us 9/11’d a couple few times over the next 5 years.

recolored and hastily edited windows 11 background. it says windows 13 and it's green

Windows 13 rumored to "suck your dick clean off", per sources close to Microsoft.

Jesse Singal: “I don’t understand why all these experts with degrees keep disagreeing with me. So demoralizing. What could the explanation be??”

abolish ICE is a majority position among INDEPENDENTS AND THE GENERAL PUBLIC

you have 23% among REPUBLICANS

we have at least three more years of this shit

what I am saying is: the next Dem president had better be ready to walk into DHS with a chainsaw on Day 1

Keeping ICE in existence and “reforming” it is an extremist position that does not enjoy the support of the people.

Introduce yourself with 5 cars you’ve owned

1992 Mercury Grand Marquis
1992 Lexus ES300
1971 Mercury Monterey
1981 DeLorean DMC 12
2003 Mercury Marauder

“We understand you’re mad we’ve been fucking you over on electric rates and are even more mad about us selling to blackrock so you get fucked over even harder while they just let you have rolling brownouts because fuck you, but you guys don’t need to be mean to us about it 😢”

It’s actually FEWER Misérables

Nice. I should have sprung for the nicer ecobee but the cheap one has still been excellent.

THEM: you can’t just say everything is Iran

ME: (pointing to the greasy incel on the roof with a gun) Iran

After this video went viral Ronald McDonald killed himself in the toilet with a portable defibrillator like in “Breaking Bad”.

Today it was snowballs. Tomorrow, someone could paint a black circle on the side of a mountain, causing our officers to drive the train into the mountain, turning the train into an accordian that plays a sad little tune indicating that the officer has been seriously injured

Wow

Police Departments make a lot more sense when you realize they are just a New Deal make-work program for every city’s violent but sensitive oaf population

Rufo can apologize all he wants, he’s still getting the wall

who'd he get this time?

It's great how after a fucking decade of Trump liberals are still like "doing anything at all about this is 'taking the bait,' so we'd better keep doing nothing, like we always do"

NEW YORK (AP) — New York City police are investigating after officers were pelted with snowballs while responding to a massive snowball fight at Washington Square Park in Manhattan. A video of the fracas shows two uniformed officers pacing a walkway in the park Monday as snowballs fly at them from all directions, hitting the officers and covering them in snow. The officers, growing visibly frustrated, shoved at least two people to the ground as snowballs continued to whizz by. At one point, a person runs up behind an officer and mushes some snow onto his head. One of the officers can be seen rubbing his eye toward the end of the video. In a statement Tuesday, the New York Police Department said multiple uniformed officers were struck in the face with snowballs and were “removed by EMS in stable condition” to a nearby hospital, but did not disclose additional information on their injuries. Jessica Tisch, the city’s police commissioner, called the behavior “disgraceful” and “criminal” and said the department is investigating. Police have released images of two people the department is searching for in connection with the incident, asking for the public’s help to identify them.

NYPD officers also had their shoelaces tied together, their pants pulled down revealing boxers with hearts on them, and one was seriously injured when he attempted to run through a tunnel which a vicious criminal appeared to have painted on a wall

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow.

*misses chance to blow*

FUCK

The "night at the museum of the Bible" poster poorly edited to say "night at the museum of my balls"

Heh more like

I miss my last company-provided Sharp.