Carrie Kelly

the posters who are secretly scrutinized & mocked in all group chats, the lost souls doomed to perform their most hilarious bits over & over

Worst press the North has got since Arlene Foster.

They’re never going to go for a United Ireland now after the GAA Catfish podcast.

"Kelsey Grammer is John Lithgow's Wario," I mutter.

"Sure he is Mister Kelly," smiles the kindly orderly, wheeling me indoors, "let's get you out of the sun"

LOVE YOU ❤️

bart simpsons on rat mode

"...and who could forget dear Rat Boy?"

We did it, Joe.

I’ve been concerned that my spinal surgery still hasn’t been approved and accidentally stumbled upon the news that my neurologist has had her license revoked for ‘serious medical misconduct’. Not a peep from the hospital. This fucking year, man.

My favourite vocal stim is now seasonal.

Ratbag and Dee won’t see or care about your support on social media but the women in your life that have survived domestic violence and sexual assault sure will.

If you want to do a wee clear out, people are telling on themselves with their likes on Dee Devlin’s Instagram post.

We've left those awful people on Twitter behind. Now, I feel, is the time to turn on each other.

Me holding on to my will to live after remembering everything that has happened this year.

I will test the theory tonight and keep you updated.

i think that drake should be executed live on national television

Journaling to The Muppet Show theme song has been surprisingly effective.

Starting to understand rowdy football fans because the anticipatory excitement for Wicked is making me want to break things.

Went to a medium and they told me I need to start swinging on people who disrespect me. If this applies to you, I’m coming.

pretty embarrassing: forgot about the eclipse and slipped into my dressing gown and sleeping cap early. I was wandering around the neighborhood with my candle going "who goes there" for like an hour

Pregaming therapy by having a little cry in the car before I go in for the big cry.

This is really like being introduced to your new da because the old one left the family bankrupt and burned the house to the ground.