Trott3r 💦🥩

Via dot com. Superb.

Don't need him with big Nick channeling his inner Rob Lee.

🟢 MODERATE: 👹 (Man Utd)
Benefitted from a historic run of home draws, boosting win probability.
🔵 LOW: 🩵 (Man City)
No domestic fixture is "High Difficulty" for this squad.
🔵 VERY LOW: 🦁🔵 (Chelsea)
Consistent lower-league draws relative to squad value.

🟡 MEDIUM: 🔴⚪️ (Arsenal)
High-difficulty draws, but as a top-3 side, they remain favourites in ~90% of ties.
🟢 MODERATE: 🔴 (Liverpool)
Face the hardest raw fixtures, but elite status means their "Expected Win" rate stays massive.

🔴 EXTREME: ⬛️⬜️ #nufc
Frequent "Big Six" draws despite being top-tier. Underdogs in 40% of ties.
🔴 HIGH: ⚒️ (West Ham)
Statistically "unlucky" with 80% PL opponents while trying to rotate for Europe.
🟡 MED-HIGH: 🦁 (Aston Villa)
Constant 50/50 draws vs top-6 rivals.

Relative Cup Difficulty Table (22/23 – 25/26)
Ranking the "uphill battle" clubs face in domestic cups relative to their expected performance.
Who gets the "group of death" treatment and who gets the easy ride? 🧵👇 #nufc

What was it anything? Claret and blue underpants that day?

My favourite bit of Danny Murphy last night - Barnes booked for diving 'good the more we discourage that the better' onana "fouled" - he's done well there, I know he's won the free kick but still he's done well'. It's the exact same thing Danny. #nufc

This should have banged. Lovely work.

Pearce Quigley on the poster for Small Prophets

Mackenzie Crook writing some of the finest comedy around at the moment. This is every bit as good as the detectorists. Brings the humanity out in every oddball character. Nice change from all of the punching down we see in comedy.

Man knows ball. #nufc

If he'd scored with his head in the box you could MAYBE take it to that level. A player running on to a ball at his feet is gaining no advantage from his charva fringe.

From the quick replay they showed it was the very very front part of willocks forehead that was offside.

I understand the rules. When a player is in that position running on to the ball, that distance from goal, how is his hairline being offside giving him an advantage? #nufc

Bookmark it, we win tonight. Pots of pace up to if Gordon can last 60 or so mins. Howay the lads. #nufc

Most mental fanbase around. I've read for years that Gordons body language shows he's had his head turned by Liverpool when it was us trying to peddle him there.

Changed my life mate. Good luck.

By the end of the window I was happy with our business but aye we didn't get our primary targets. That's why performances are disjointed. No time on the training ground means square pegs in round holes until Howe can work with them properly. That's not an excuse we knew what was needed this season

I haven't. Just had a quick look and it sounds horrific. Another one for these so called scientists to sort out.

BREAKING: New SNL UK line up revealed

A thousand times this. City don't have to fight on four fronts relying on essentially the same pool of 16 outfield players. Nothing will change because we haven't got enough PSR headroom to consistently challenge. #nufc

You reckon? I can actively choose not to use a nostril. Mind I'm open to negotiation on the nostril if we can talk to the people in charge. I'll take owt after being laid up in bed for a week.

Surely we should be at the point now where we as a species have evolved beyond sore throats? Everything goes down there man. Howay boffins make sore throats a sore nostril or something instead.

Feeling entirely jaded with football at the minute.

In the last week I've sat through Liverpool beating a depleted #nufc side while Isak sits smiling in the crowd, current league leaders arsenal try and disrupt one of our best players on deadline day and now a city reserve side made up of players hoovered up from other PL sides.

The fact semenyo can play - The benefit of a rule change that will benefit three or four clubs in the long run. No prizes for guessing which clubs they are.

Not a great performance so far tonight bordering on embarrassing but #nufc and most of the premier league are playing against a stacked deck. Hoarding of players to the point that this is practically a reserve city side is disgusting.

I was walking past the old chronicle offices with someone the other day and when you would walk past after a match they would have the pink at the big doors on the Bigg market. Like you say, remarkable.

Can't stop thinking of the iron maiden scene (in bone temple not SpongeBob). One of the most remarkable things I've ever seen.

A reminder of how important the evening chronicle used to be up here. A reputation that has been completely ruined. Click here for for 5 reasons why, you won't believe number two! #nufc