🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪

I will turn into Gay Eminem in a second

Just in case Washington comes calling

You are reading this wrong, they mean that Hillary and Kamala were ON the right

Oh yeah? That’s cool. Did he sing a Frank Sinatra song?

No thanks

I will never eat at a restaurant that uses AI for food pictures

We have elected a new mayor - Mayor Poop Butt Ding-Dong (R-Butler County)

Republicans are all sex freaks. Every single one

Mayor Dingus is a republican. Who woulda thought?

I will one year but not this one, I’m actually heading out Los Angeles on Sunday

Mayor Dingus. How could you

This is for an energy drink called Mutant

I love the ads at the Arnold

I would display that in my house

I wouldn’t wear a utilikilt for all of the money in the world*

*less than $200,000

The Arnold Classic is in town and that can only mean 1 thing, the population of guys in utilikilts is surging

This is 100% the only metric for success in my opinion

It doesn’t matter how many you buy they will always say you need a new one

The thing about the cabin air filter is that they will put a new one in and then the next time she gets an oil change they will say “you should change your cabin air filter” because it’s a fucking scam

Yeah and it’s my daughters car

Yeah we just had to get rid of that car because it was so far gone

The way they did it was that they made me wait as they listed the stuff that needed to get done and then at the end gave me the total so that I would just forget the silly stuff like “transmission flush” and “cabin air filter and cabin air system flush” which woulda been a no a few years ago

No. It was my daughters car so it was worth it

There’s no amount of money to keep her from wanting to have the car “fixed” she constantly thinks it’s broken

I was sent to get it done before I leave town for that reason

For the first time in my life I took a car to the mechanic and was able to say “just fix all of the stuff” and I’m semi proud of that but also kinda embarrassed because I know I got ripped off

Both Dalton movies are bangers

The first 2 Daniel Craig movies weren’t even Bond movies. It coulda been anyone

I have now seen every single James Bond and here are my James Bond rankings

1. Roger Moore
2. Sean Connery
3. Timothy Dalton
4. Daniel Craig
5. Pierce Brosnan
6. George Lazenby

So. What’s going on? Is everything ok? Does your boss know you’re getting owned?