Jason the Average ®️ 💛🤍💜🖤

At least the only misinformation on Snapchat involves filters.

If Church’s is Texas chicken, Texas should stick to Tex-mex.

Does Instagram have an option to call or video call verified accounts with millions of followers? I have to imagine those folks aren’t taking calls.

We’d still be using them.

The hot take I wasn’t expecting.

Not sure how cool, but I’m here.

Tonight I’ve had two ounces of whiskey, Sudafed, Benadryl, mucinex, afrin, and an edible. That should allow me to sleep since i didn’t last night.

I read playing guitar in the dank, which may also be true.

Pretty sure it’s Peyton Manning.

Same

I’ve got a cold and between that and the meds, my executive function is performing about like the executive branch of our government.

It did make it to base 4.

If you don’t want me replying to your posts, you probably should have blocked me. 🤷‍♂️

I think the correct format is:
Bored! At work?

I still believe some really weird shit. Like there are sound waves and radio waves flying around us all the time.

Is it that big, or do you just have a really tiny dog?

Too bad there’s no edit button. That would be like half of my skeets.

Mine already died.

I thought that was why it was there.

What’s that again? I couldn’t hear you.

I really just wanted to join the cult.

I can’t imagine what that combo would look like. Or how a lab and dachshund reproduce. I’ll also need to see a picture.

I mean, short fingernails do improve wiping efficiency.

If she wipes back to front, does she also do ATM?

A 10 with a UTI! Awesome!

You may not be far off. You’d have to ask @jerrified.bsky.social

I’m pretty sure Jerry barely knows I exist. 😉

Probably just folks wanting to get Jerrified.

Fish?

A turner spatula, rubber spatula, wooden spatula, scraper spatula, or a fish spatula?