Lovely to meet you too! I’m still dazzled.
07.03.2026 12:13
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Lovely to meet you too! I’m still dazzled.
The outfit was on point. 👌
[Exit Murderer.]
Markwayne Mullin looks and sounds like some backwoods ding-dong that Raylan Givens has to throw in his car trunk on JUSTIFIED
DID YOU KNOW?
If you have Delta Sky Miles, you can donate them to help a kidnapped-and-released person fly home!
They are set free on the streets of El Paso or another Texas town with no phone, no money, nothing at all. Your miles can get them back to their loved ones!
If you’ve been thinking to yourself “man, I really want to help people in Minneapolis, but I also some some cookies, AND I’d also like to help out trans, neurodiverse, and BIPOC youth“ boy oh boy do I have some good news for you!
digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/troop5...
ICE is now responsible for 66% of the homicides in Minneapolis this year.
Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago
Uni lad headline hospice nurse who’s seen 100s of people die says everyone always says the same thing on their deathbed. Photo is a blond haired blue eyed woman’s face
“you won’t get away with this”
oh no
Congrats!
Three panel cartoon by Tina Menzel A cat sitting on a table next to a big sign that says 2025 Cat looks down at 2025 Cat pushes 2025 off the table
visual representation of “we have added AI”
Woo hoo! I published only one humor piece this year, and I’m pleased as punch that it cracked McSweeney’s top 25.
Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year
The opening of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960): a black and white panorama of Phoenix, Arizona with the words "FRIDAY, DECEMBER THE ELEVENTH" printed across it in white.
Happy Psycho Day to all who celebrate.
(not yet Friday, but near enough)
I love a prestige true crime limited series, but I'm tired of watching bad things happen to Patricia Arquette.
"Of course, it doesn’t feel right to want IT to HAPPEN. And it’s obviously not okay to try to make IT HAPPEN. That’s not what this is ABOUT, just to make things CLEAR LEGALLY as far as VARIOUS AGENCIES are concerned."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/whe...
Elon got Joyce Carol Owned
This is so good.
I heard there was a secret mash
That turned into a graveyard smash
But you don't really care for monsters, do you?
Can’t decide what to buy on Prime Day?
Try: absolutely nothing, and then go support indie bookstores instead 📚
With so much wrong about this 'Ed Gein is bringing sexy back!' take, I'm still going to focus on the historical detail that he couldn't possibly have owned a chainsaw.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Shame about the cookie sheet, though. 😁
Present Tense by Todd Dillard My father’s telling me about his dog, how it fell into a well when they were walking down a wooded path. His dog ran across some rotted planks, the planks splintered, “And whoosh!” my father says. “No more dog.” I look at the clock and remind my father it’s three A.M. “I’m not finished,” he says. He tells me about the rope he bought, the bucket, how he knotted the rope to the bucket, lowered it down, and yelled for the dog to get in. “But all I pulled up was more barking.” “Dad,” I say. “This never happened.” He says he can’t remember how long he tried to get the dog to shimmy into the bucket. Just that at some point when the sky turned tawny—“Dad—“ as a pitcher of sweet tea—“Dad—“ he decided to give up. “Dad,” I say. “It’s late. I’m tired. And you’re dead.” “Dammit, son,” my father says. “Let me finish!” My father tells me about filling the bucket with dirt and pouring the dirt into the well. And I know what he’s getting at, I know he’s going to tell me bucket by bucket he filled the well and the dog jumped out. He’s going to say something about how the dog led him home through the dark. I know this so loudly I don’t hear, at first, my father’s silence. “Dad?” I say. “Dad, are you there?” I keep lowering the bucket but all I ever pull up are leaves. Red leaves. Lately, some gold.
my issue of Threepenny is here! here’s my poem “Present Tense,” I would love for you to give it a read!
“I know this so loudly I don’t
hear, at first, my father’s silence.”
Not only did I write this, but I also escaped that cursed washing machine in the 5th-floor Roman walkup.
So we hate doing stuff like this, but as social media platforms continue to throttle indie publishers like us, we rely now more than ever on our readers. If you can spare $3 or $5 or whatever a month, it would go a long way to help us keep on keeping on. buff.ly/E4eljl9
The essay’s hilarious title is “Shut Up, Memory.”
And the award for best afterword title goes to @lauralippman.bsky.social
A photo of a display of chilled wine labeled “MEATLESS”
“But isn’t it hard to be vegan? What do you eat?”
Nick Saban could do the funniest thing right now.