yes hello

An homage to a panel from the Achewood web comic. Phillipe, a young and eager otter, who is wearing a shirt and tie and a helmet for some reason, is happily singing a song to himself as follows: Born... in the USA! I went to school and I got an... A! I ate a hamburger and said hooray! Maybe it will happen today! The final line is obviously my addition. The art was redrawn by me and is not just a copy of the original panel. Done in black lines and halftone shading on a toned paper background. You do not need to trouble Chris Onstad about this.

One day we will tell the kids about how the whole extended family used to sit down and watch whisky Friday with Tony dookie and they won't believe us

Man Columbo is a fun dude. Might stage a murder later so I can get him to hang out with me

Mint ice cream is only good if it’s green. Everyone making white mint ice cream is doing a bad job

Give a man a per diem and he'll eat for a day

People like him believe in “easy grace” where all that matters is your lip service to the organization. If you “believe” in Jesus that’s all you need to get into Heaven! “Believe” in air quotes because if you *truly* believed God above gave you clear instructions I think you’d follow them

Democrats aren’t jockeying for control though. They’re just staying out of the way

Stars pinball machine, player 2 has 69420 points

Stars pinball machine, player 2 has 69420 points

This is me, I got 69420 points naturally

UNOWN COOL S

The world could be such a nice place if we allowed it. It's all so goddamn unnecessary. There's no need for any of it. It's so beautiful here. It should be so cool to be alive

Aaahh!!! Real Housewives

“Well, here we are at the Grand Canyon … but, as usual, Johnny just had to ruin the picture for everyone else.” Johnny is a child making a stupid face with his hands in the photo. The rest of the family have stupid faces naturally

The Autistic Experience

He’s incontinent and smells like shit full time. For that reason, the only people who spend time with him want something from him and hate every second. He probably sees people covering their noses and gagging in his peripheral vision *all the time.*

Honestly we should have all known we were in a dangerous global decline as soon as Hollywood struggled to make a new movie about Blade

BREAKING: The Supreme Court announces BALATRO DLC FEATURING CHARACTERS FROM THE INSANE CLOWN POSSE UNIVERSE with projected retail price of 45 USD$

If you ever find yourself wondering how things like the Epstein story happened, consider the mid-level newspaper editor who admitted in a public judicial inquiry that he destroyed a woman’s life and drove her to suicide to try and impress Piers Morgan.

Reporter: Do aliens exist?

Obama: *chuckles* Technically no, a time ghoul is from Earth. Just not today’s Earth

i notice when i look at stuff on here that everything is bad and getting worse. but when i look at video games and video game related entertainment for 12 hours i don't notice any of that stuff. kinda weird

As the boom recedes, the concept of NFTs increasingly feels like something from a lost Borges story. Five elegantly written pages about a Buenos Aires grocer who owns the spring rain. (He can't control the rain, and it falls on everyone - but only the grocer somehow, ineffably, "owns" it.)

ever think "hey, remember NFTs?" and then laugh a little

I am not sure that the way out of the AI bubble is hoping that General Artificial Intelligence arrives and uses its beyond human capacity to work out how to make enough money to pay everyone back.

It hadn't occured to me until now that a significant part of the anti-vax movement is just Münchhausen by proxy, but it makes sense.

Yoon and Prince Andrew wishing they had a friend like John Roberts.

Hemingway was once bet that he couldn’t write the world’s happiest short story in just 5 words. He replied,

AI fans are that last ones to figure out they are completely expendable from the process.

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

It feels like there’s been a shadow economy that outsources consequences (climate change, wealth disparity, the depravity of the elites) and we’re catching its natural endpoint- accountability musical chairs

It’s not hypocrisy, it’s a tactic

Floor 2: Ceiling