H E L E N

Biblically accurate gingerbread men

A 3D printer? Do you hear yourself? All printers are three dimensions.

No Being only Do

“what’s stopping you from-“ listen, I am so so sleepy

traditional eyeliner for funeral comma Catholic parentheses scots-irish closed parentheses comma matrilineal

This year. Reference to February 💚

Jokes are a puzzle but I can't read

A second relative has hit the cemetery

Happy Pearl Harbor to all those who celebrate

They do 😞

Vegan hell is south jersey

Woke grandma gendering all animals Him

hanging around an arby's parking lot with a big question mark floating above my head, telling anyone who approaches to puncture the tires of 10 cop cars and i will bestow them a powerful blade

No I swear I know what vine is babe

I'm uncut gems maxing. I'm sandler core. I have a gambling addiction

Transitioning from mental illness (crusty) to mental illness (Messiah)

Mr. Krabs is Sweeney Todd forward this to at least ten people or 7 years bad luck

The angel Moroni came back he says there's fish in the krabby patties

I preserve my youthful appearance by sleeping each night immersed in a giant jar of vinegar.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors quesadillas

"like a shirt that's got holes in it from being worn and washed for decades"
*Therapist scribbles faster*

Fomenting the revolution by exposing my girlfriend to Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Boyfriend's on a work trip guess it's time for Another Cat

Winnie the Pooh but the lyrics are tofu and corn

Catcalled! On New Jersey Transit

"restore your snap streak" I do not give a fuck

Is ChatGPT Conscious? No, And If You Keep Asking We'll Hit You Again

That silhouette isn't Victorian it's 60's medieval revival. You're not even SEO maxing with that. What are you doing???

God gives his toughest asthma attacks to his strongest commute sprinters

Screenshot of a DM in response to a message reading "Id love to watch it" where I say "Literally anytime but also be prepared it is 3 hours and the quicksand scene is infuriating. Also obi wan Kenobi is in brown face"

I'm so good at convincing beautiful women to watch movies with me