BREAKING: ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports that it is your bedtime, per sources.
Compensation:
- I will tuck you in
- Yes I’ll read you your favorite story one more time
- Okay fine I’ll get you a glass of water
- Five minutes until lights out
once again,
We are trapped in the belly of a horrible machine and the machine is bleeding to death and also winning gold, baby
May “Bubba Wallace driving away from the chaos” be the theme of the year and a metaphor for my life
me waking up tomorrow on my 30th bday:
packers fans watching the seahawks special teams
60 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider
has to be Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You by Big Thief
this has been playing on loop in my head for 16 years straight btw
No One On ‘Pat McAfee Show’ Notices A.J. Hawk Dead For Last 3 Days
The knowing head nods the two officials exchange as they prepare to signal that a field goal was good must hit like a thunderbolt
All this nightmare shit on the timeline being inflicted by the federal government on their own people and the only moment of levity I got today was finding out the Steelers hired Mike McCarthy for some reason
Harrison Mevis:
RAMS WIN
Probably the most precise moment we’ve ever been able to collectively pinpoint from the other side of the world that a Pope is cussing
“me and the girlies going to the boy aquarium and telling them to kiss” listen to yourselves. youre grown adults. are you not embarrassed? just a little bit? do you not feel an ounce of shame
i’m sorry but the houston texans cannot play in a super bowl. that’s fake. that’s madden stuff
Jarrett Stidham rn:
CONGRATS, TEXANS!
i am free from the clutches of football. daytona here i come baybeeeeeee
another 9 course meal for the shieldies
McManus is a terrible kicker, but at least he’s also a terrible person
I honestly can't stop laughing at the fact that we all know the Pope is up watching this Bears vs Packers game and, quite possibly, using a solid amount of profanity right now.
Martyrdom of the Ten Thousand, by Albrecht Dürer, 1508 (detail), 📸 via @johnewing
I don’t know what to say except that human beings deserve better than whatever this is
😬
happy new year!!! 2026 will be A Year and that's all i feel confident in predicting tbh
[werner herzog voice] these prefabricated mortal pastries, dying for cheap spectacle
