EJ Ford

Allergies are kicking my ass right now. I yearn for the sweet release of death

Out at a bar with friends and the cat keeps triggering the security camera cause she knows we're all gonna turn on the mic and say hi

If Pip wasn't and absolute menace when it comes to birds I'd say road trip it and bring the baby

You should come down to Melbourne and we'll just party here for your birthdatmy.

Wisdom teeth pain so bad I had to dig out the Polish codeine. Pray for me

My doctor had a galah that she rescued in my appointment today, and despite having two broken wings, it was dancing around and singing to the music I had playing in the background

*emerging from beneath the waves of a cold black lake*: do you have a lighter on you?

Cat has been beefing with the lego shelf, so her cat tree has been banished to the middle of the lounge room where she cant use it to jump onto the bookcase, and boy, is she mad about it.

Assert dominance by continually stating “I’d prefer not to.”

Cat is mad at me cause I was gone all day travelling too and from an engagement party, but she's also very interested in the chicken i just ate. She's very conflicted right now

tired robin

I'm really loving having a set shift time instead of arotating one. Like, I get to finish work at the same time every day????? I dont have to change my alarms???? I can actually plan things in advance????

Wow! Bendigo Writers Festival (15 - 17 Aug) is making guest speakers sign a last-minute agreement to not mention Israel's genocide of Palestinians. Writers who care about human rights are cancelling. Any writer/guest still thinking of appearing should seriously reconsider. Stand up! Refuse to comply

a man with long curly hair and a beard is eating a piece of cheesecake ALT: a man with long curly hair and a beard is eating a piece of cheesecake

Popping a couple of muscle relaxers and doing back stretches

One of my baby sisters had her baby the other day, and within hours of the kid being born, I had already given him a dumb nickname. That I will ensure he knows about when he's older

Upside though, I'm having minimal issues playing video games and just snuggling with said cat

I hurt my wrist trying to wave the cat away from a bunch of wires. Great start to my annual leave. Might possibly be stuck at home the entire time now cause it's the side I use my cane on 🥲

they’re casting me in The Pitt season 2 as a guy who overdosed on eating pussy

Cat was running absolutely apeshit this morning while I was getting ready for work, so I plopped my phone down in front of her, and she just happily sat there watching The Pitt edits on the clock app

I love getting halfway to work and suddenly thinking, "Oh shit, did I pack my laptop?????". It happens every week. I've never not packed my laptop. Why does my brain do this?

I bought a trench coat on a whim the other day cause it was on sale and I've lowkey been thinking about it for over a decade. I'm so in love with it

My cat is an idiot (I love her dearly) who climbed into my shirt with me (the light of my life) and shuffled around for a little bit (she's never done anything wrong in her life), then she bit my fucking armpit (I would burn a city down for this bastard baby)

American pope saying eyyy I’m prayin’ hereee

new pope is american ?

floor time with Toast

I got gut punched by a hand rail while in line to vote this morning because some old lady shoved me out of her way, mumbling about how my having a walking stick was offensive to people who actually need one. I think it could be celebrated that I didn't hit her with the damn stick

Interesting how everyone yells at me when I say something stupid but nobody compliments me when I go a whole day without saying something stupid

"writing" with generative AI is so confusing to me because like... you wouldn't become a scuba driver if you hate the water. if you don't like to write, why is it so important to be a writer?

Had my house inspection yesterday and the place is still clean. Am I neurotypical now?