If you punch it, you'll find a smashable urn with a mystic crystal inside.
09.03.2026 10:55
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If you punch it, you'll find a smashable urn with a mystic crystal inside.
Ohhh, I have a Monty Python skit for this.
Me: Tonight, can we have epic dreams?
BRAIN: With the current level of nasal stuffiness your options are as follows:
WORK BUT FORGOT HOW
FAMILY HOME CONFLAGRATION
FREE FLIGHT TO RUSSIA TURNED OUT TO BE ONE-WAY
FISTFIGHTING DAD'S GHOST
ETERNAL SEARCH FOR TOILET
CAN'T AFFORD HAMBURGER
EXAMS II
The archaic "wherefore" is synonymous with "why", and it can be confusing, but one thing that can help is remembering that we still have its counterpart in usage: "therefore".
Where (is the reason) for ____?"
There (is the reason) for ____."
(Historically, "for" could be used to mean "because")
Write the rest of the story you coward.
Blood moon lunar eclipse is when werewolves come on heat. Anyone who knows about canine menstrual cycles can tell you that.
I see now where my first error lay.
wonka if literal: chocolate labs
Forgetting the safe word.
The safe word is "GRAPE!" screamed real loud.
This is wholesome
Even Ben & Jerry's?
[running in with a steel chair]
Relatable content
sports teams at a rural school was brutal, like hard-hitting 12 year olds in Red Team vs speedy six year olds in Blue Team, then one with accidentally just girls + Diverse Opinions about going as Pink Team, then like fkn Hufflepuff which was just the fetal alcohol kid and me with a note from my mum
Just saw a guy write "life lesson" as "life lesion" and honestly? Can't tell if that's deliberate or not, but apt, very apt.
Lock her in the attic.
What he said: "The roosters are starting to crow."
What I heard: "Baristas are starting to crawl."
Me: Good afternoon, Mistress Bumblebee! I know that you are friendly and unlikely to harm me. Let us spend time together in the garden today!
Bee: Yo wassup, lemme live inside your shirt.
Me: eeeeeeeee
Ho hum, another night, another day of not meeting an introvert with a foot fetish who just wants to massage my feet for two hours and then go home with my shoe.
Half right, it was actually a rotisserie baby.
5AM in Aotearoa New Zealand
Boyfriend [wandering out sleepily]: Babe, why aren't you in bed?
Me [eyes glued to phone]: Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor got arrested. But that's not why I'm up. Puppy fell asleep on the couch and I didn't want to wake her.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Check your dental xray for Eagle Syndrome.
And more shameful.
We don't ask "What's the haps?" any more.
We established what the haps was.
It very notoriously does not.
LOL okay, Mr. Gotcha
Next time some bozo tries to insist that a woman's prime is based on how many eggs she has left, point out that females lose between 60% and 85% of their oocytes (immature eggs) before they are born. Then close a used menstrual pad into his laptop, and when he opens it, go "Meet your new bride!"
