Abby

A threatening and creepy tree I don't like at all, which speaks out of its bellybutton and is advancing towards me in tiny tree steps which it thinks I haven't noticed, and repeatedly asking me why I will not "Come inside where it is warm, for a nice treat."

THREAD. A collection of photographs of excellent trees I have met on walks.

You will find the all-important captions to each photo in the alt text.

Everything Will Swallow You: the audiobook

The audiobook of Everything Will Swallow You is now available. I am so over the moon that Justin Avoth agreed to narrate this. He's the best in the business... www.audible.co.uk/pd/Everythin...

I LOVED this book (made me even more late for work, since I'm already an Eric in terms of timekeeping). Currently circulating 4 of your books around my family, Tom, but need the paperback release of this so I can buy for friends. Still thinking about it. Delicious!

Equality isn’t radical. Exploitation is.

Tom, I'm reading this at the moment and chortling away, just delighting in it. Thank you! Wonderful book.

I want to do something positive to end what’s been a shit year. Change up the vibe etc.

*lucky dip artwork*

For $25 incl p&p I’ll send you a piece of art, many matted, no bigger than A4. Mixed media, mainly semi abstract landscape, signed. NZ only.

DM me to order.
Reposts appreciated.

I don't know, say that when you've met Morrie. #NotAtAllSophisticated (Atwood, utter delight.)

A ginger cat sleeps curled in a ball behind a small, green woollen catnip ball. In the foreground is a book - Margaret Atwood's The Penelopiad. A fantastically lazy day, with many thanks again to Secret Santa.

That is so much more sophisticated than our version.

This cat says every cat deserves Kat's Nip. He'll sing it from the rooftops (although prefers not to as is actually quite gravity-prone) and the depths of the sofa cushions (= ideal). Still time to order Kat's for Chistmas although, y'know, tick tock, motherfeltas. 😻 #SecretSantaAiNZ

A short haired ginger cat sprawls lazily on his side, on dark-coloured carpet.

A short haired ginger cat sprawls on his back in a chaotic fashion, legs at all angles and looking a bit silly.

Two ginger cats, one short haired and one fluffy, sprawl lazily on their sides on dark coloured carpet. The short haired one in the foreground is an idiot and looks at the camera upside down.

Kat! Your stuff's brilliant. Thanks to you and my Santa, both. Such a great gift. Max and Morrie love them: those little balls have already seen some things.

Let X=X YouTube video by Laurie Anderson - Topic

What with all the #SecretSantaAoNZ lately, this has been my earworm for the last couple of days. "I just want to say thanks. So...thanks...Thanks for all the presents. Thanks for going all-out." "It's a sky-blue sky." youtu.be/UfOK0evCqZY?...

Shredded pale blue tissue paper with a "Thank you" sticker, displayed with an information card for Kat's Nip Fluffy Balls", a toy/recreational supplement for cats. My cats are now sleeping, so I perhaps should have read the card before leaving them home alone with the Fluffy Balls. "Please supervise play".

I was given some of these too and when the cats are not playing with them, they're shredding the paper they were wrapped in. (Balls not shown as they may be taking a sabbatical under the fridge just now.) Kat's Nip for the win!

It would have to be a surprise, and you only find out on opening (the wrapper) day.

Ooh, YOU are.

Doh! Forgot hashtag! #SecretSantaAoNZ Also we had to update our previous Silly Thing for opening day. Thanks again my Secret Santa, and Foxy and the elves, and everyone who joined in. Wishing everyone happiness, good health and fantastic holidays. youtu.be/WXnRUEk49Dk?...

A stripey monkey toy and a couple of stuffed friends, Panda and George, pose under a small tree on a bed of cacti, amongst kind gifts sent by Secret Santa. There is a Margaret Atwood book, a voucher for a cafe, some delicious catnip treat, and a lovely card. Everyone is happy and grateful.

Santa! Thank you very much for your wonderful card, voucher for treats, Kat's Nip (irresistible to the ginger guys, so far), and Margaret Atwood book! I'm delighted and you are kind. And you're right: no socks for Monkey. You're a gem, Santa. Merry Christmas to you and all.

#SecretSantaAoNZ Yes, Santa and elves, thank you for admin-ing us!

Stuffed toys (a monkey, a panda and a...George, species unknown) stand vigil on some Secret Santa presents, which are arranged under a plant, on a bed of cacti. All geared towards pre-emptive opening.

Dear my Secret Santa, I'm unaccountably detained by the inconvenience of being at work, so will look forward all day to opening your kind gifts. The intimidating crew (+ cactus) continue to stand watch. Great fun seeing everyone else's joy in the meantime! #SecretSantaAoNZ

Tense Christmas I The Ghost of Christmas Past Perfect Progressive Midnight. Awoken by a ghost. I thought I must be raving. He’d come to me so I could see how badly I’d been behaving. II The Ghost of Christmas Present Perfect Simple Later still, a ghost again: with a much more recent scene. More evidence piling up of how unpleasant I have been. III The Ghost of Christmas Future Unreal Conditional Then, a final ghostly vision – but this one lacked the pain and strife. I saw if I could be a kinder man, I would create a better life. Brian Bilston

I got visited by three ghosts last night, who were all experts in English grammar.

Thanks! It is Very Silly, but I guess we are in the season for that (orrrr silliness all year is fine also, hey?).

A very silly song, by a dork. :) I should clarify that while Small Tree may have read the card, I did not, so all secrecy and decorum is as yet preserved (until the appropriate day, when I shan't be answerable for my actions). Thanks again, all Santas and elves.

Secret Santa AoNZ 2025 YouTube video by abby_as

Thanks #SecretSantaAoNZ, my parcel arrived last night! So I made A Very Silly Thing as Small Tree unboxed it. (AKA It's beginning to look a lot like Cringemas. Please forgive.) And now we wait for Opening Day. youtu.be/hq2BICSARb4?...

Closed up daisies among dewy blades of grass, awaiting the sun, which just starts to glow at the top of the picture. The sun catches in some of the droplets on the grass.

A bit more sun bathes the daisies as they go about their business.

Small flowers amongst grass, as the sun comes up.

The sun breaks over the skyline and warms the aforementioned daisy and grass gang.

Hope you see the sun soon.

You will be visited by three spirits.

Goldie looks EMPHATICALLY like an absolute legend.

An orange cat called Morrie reclines, baring his belly for pats while his also-orange-but-fluffier brother, Max, grooms his large, triangular ears. Kindness rulz.

I humbly offer unlimited internet currency (ie cat pics) on demand, in perpetuity, for your kindness. Thank you! 🌻

I *knew* I had seen you somewhere before.

It felt very festive going to the post office today but no, we haven't decorated the tree yet. Maybe Monkey will get some festive socks or something. (Would that be insensitive? He's already made of sock.) #SecretSantaAoNZ

#SecretSantaAoNZ Calling all Santas, secret or otherwise: Blackwell's DO send w/ free shipping, lickety-split! And in AoNZ, Unity send The Cat Operator's Manual with similar urgency. Delighted! Thanks @QueenOliviaiii.com and @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social and also Tom's Mum for the wonderful linocuts.

A picture of a note that reads "Dear Santa, Could I please have a carpentry set, and a Mr Fruity and a Machine Man. I do not know if they will all fit in my father's sock. I will think what else I do want by the way. If they all don't just fit in the sock, you may put some in the beanbag or the wardrobe. Love, Abby ...PTO...

...Don't forget the magnet that you will find at Gourley's and the shovel and the goggles." Like, I don't know what I was planning, but it sounds sinister and my brother should have been very worried.

Santa, remember when I was 3 or 4 & Mum made me dictate a wishlist, & I sounded like a small, materialistic psychopath? Well, thanks for that carpentry set. Soz for so few hints recently. Wd still go a Machine Man. (See alt text for historic List of Demands.) #SecretSantaAoNZ #NotapsychopathIpromise