John Forsyth

In 2016 Elon Musk promised that people would be on Mars by 2025

@eliotetc.bsky.social @rickyftw.bsky.social
One day to go...think we'll make it?

They use Arabic numerals!

Charlie watching Ricky and Eliot!

@eliotetc.bsky.social @rickyftw.bsky.social Charlie is a big fan but kindly requests more stories about dogs.

Please respect the policies of this administration that he championed. The name on his birth certificate is Terry Bollea.

a colorful firework display with the words happy birthday written on it Alt: a colorful firework display with the words happy birthday written on it

@marawilson.bsky.social

Happy Abby Wambach Day to those who celebrate

Here's why it would be a mistake to do anything that inconveniences rich assholes. By: Some Rich Asshole

If you ever think of running for office let me know and I'll drop everything to join your campaign. I've worked it all, from electing school board to presidential bids and it'd be an honor to help you. Seriously. Think about it.

B2EMO waiting outside Panucci's Pizza in a mashup of Andor and Futurama.

Feel better soon! Here's an image to cheer you up! 😉

a man in a robe says this is outrageous Alt: This is outrageous!

"We will let you stay but we do not grant you the rank of Master. That isn't the name on your birth certificate. Take a seat, little Anakin."

"I wondered why they weren't sitting in the back where they belong," he probably thought...

Just checking in to see how the precious norms are doing. Are our institutions still holding strong and will save us?

They can't afford to own the libs anymore. Best they can do is rent by the week.

The price of oil has collapsed. Great! So the price of gas will go back down too. The price of gas will go back down too?

Weird. The price of oil has dropped 9% in the past month but the price of gas has increased 11% 🤔

Golden is trying to appease the Fascists to hang onto his seat in CD2 but they will never, ever support him. What he has done is gotten a whole host of people ready to primary him.

The list will be delivered this afternoon via a team of unicorns.

Phoebe: I will take profits while prices are high. I won't hodl too long and be left holding the bag. Joey: I will take profits while prices are high. I won't hodl too long and...these bags are heavy!

Up 50% today as people realize that 125% tariff on Chinese goods isn't such a good idea.

Remember that the market is not being manipulated for our benefit and be ready to dump it.

Be a Phoebe, not a Joey.

That was a classic rug pull.

Well, time to reshort the market...

Gotta pump those numbers up! Those are rookie numbers in this racket.

Just as well. His presence would only lessen the occasion. He is an embarrassment and they deserve better.

Buy the dip!

Open a margin account!

People are saying "This is the end" and "MAGA is finally crashing."
Haven't you learned by now that it is a death cult? Nothing is EVER the cult leader's fault. He will deflect. He will blame anyone else. And his followers will believe.

Wake the fuck up.

Satellite imagery of the penguins preparing a retaliatory strike in the wake of tariffs.

The penguins are pissed.

Unfortunately for us, they are smart enough not to discuss top secret military plans on Signal.

BREAKING: the economy

Many Bothans were prepared to die to bring us these plans. Fortunately they were added to the group chat.

+62,532% in three months.

This was predictable once the sentient pumpkin opened his pie hole. I'm just fortunate I positioned my portfolio correctly to finally capitalize. I'm now debt-free for the first time in my adult life.

Up 63,000% in three months.

I predicted this administration would be a clusterfuck and put my money behind it. It finally paid off. I cashed out this morning and once my transactions go through I will be debt-free for the first time in my adult life.

@theserfstv.bsky.social Schumer just announced he is going to vote with the GOP to keep the government open. I want to say "Unbelievable" but it is totally expected at this point...

It's never been about women's sports just like it was never about water fountains.

I'm going to guess their priority is going to be going after the little guy. Aside from not wanting to piss off Elon & friends, the poor don't have the resources to fight an audit. They'll say we owe $X and we'll cough it up, no matter the hardship, because what other choice do we have?