Kahuna

So, we've had Hot Girl Summer and White Boy Summer. Is everyone ready for the upcoming nuclear winter?

The day after the German Chancellor gritted his teeth through that painful shit of a meeting in The Oval, the world gets the tastiest serving of schadenfreude possibly ever seen.

If people are worried about #Trump receiving a jet from Qatar, wait till they find out who the previous owner of his current personal jet was.

So, #SCOTUS does ignoring your 9-0 ruling with a big FUCK YOU, count as an official presidential act? Whoops.

#tariffs

Any heads of state attempting to negotiate with #Trump must feel like playing chess with a monkey. You're trying to play strategically, but he doesn't know what chess is, ate five of his pawns, and is throwing his own shit at you.

Hey Canada. Here's a tip. DO become USAs 51st state and ensure the republicans never win an election again. Get universal healthcare for them. Take over from within! Then, change their name to South Canada, ey! #trump #canada

Someone should just tell Trump that tariffs are woke. #trump #tartifs

So Congressman Al Green is a new hero. Pimp cane and all! The question is, what are the rest of the Dems doing sitting there eating this shit?

Great. Thanks to Kendrick and my ADHD brain, now any time I hear the word mustard, I scream MUSTAAAARRRDDDD!!!!! And then my 3yo copies me, and we just scream mustard at each other. It's fun.

Instead of saying punch buggy when they see a VW, mah waaiife and I are teaching the kids to stick their finger up when they see a Tesla.🖕🏾 And it's totally cool because they're neurospicy. It's just their special way of saying fuck you.

Right-wing conspiracies claiming the crashed army helicopter pilot was trans. He wasn't. It's like how Trump thinks asylum seekers escaped from an asylum. They heard someone say the old "I identify as an Apache helicopter" shit meme and got confused. It happens to them sometimes. A lot.

Autism can only cause you to hitler salute when you just happen to be autistic AND a nazi. It's a very specific combination.

So AI image prompts are just real life now?

So, anyone else getting the glitch where, no matter how many times you refresh, your Spotify Wrapped insists your most played is the Glee Original Cast Recording Seasons 1,2,3,4, and 5, instead of like, Kendrick Lamar....or something? Anyone?

You know what this means, right? She's single. I've got a shot!

You know the trope of everybody clapping in unison for some non real heartwarming thing some Mum made up on Facebook? The opposite happened at a McDonalds in Altoona yesterday. And they all stood up and booed.

Good guy Luigi.

Stormy Daniels said in her book that Trumps dick is like Toad from Mario. I want to ask Joe Scarborough, from his personal experience on his recent trip, does it taste like mushroom too? 🍄

My wife and I talking about how we're going to afford Christmas this year. 🎄

If all the sanity leaves and there's no libs to own, Twitter just becomes Troth Sensual right? Or 4Chan. Just pissing and shitting all over each other and themselves. It's going to be Lord of the Flies, and I can't wait.

Surely, there's a video edit out there of the assassination of Brian Thompson with the sound of guillotine dropping.

His life insurance company has a chance to do the funniest thing ever.

Thanks for the heads up. I Just bought it and How Not to Be Wrong. Advertising works!

At first, I was shocked that a health insurance CEO was assassinated in public. Then, the more I thought about it, I'm more shocked it's the first time.

"But until then *hiccup*, I'm Edward Fucking Forty Hands! SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT! WHOOOOO!!!!"

It would have been so much better if Elon Musk had just pointed his autism at the stereotypical trains and dinosaurs. Oh, but then we probably would have had some fucked up Jurassic Park type shit. I just want to give him a wedgie.

I still firmly believe that had the Dems run Amy Klobuchar as President AK47 she wins the biggest landslide in history.