Craig

If you need any kind of furniture, I probably have two.

I have more than one 10k word story hand written in notebooks, complete with extensive edits via inserts and sticky notes, that have been waiting months to get typed, because that is indeed the fun part.

Write a conspiracy novel in which the penny is eliminated from circulation in order to reduce luck's weight on society's progression.

Pitch a documentary about a man who tries to explain a fisheye lens to a fish.

Write a horror novel about the place shows go when you change the channel.

There's something deeply obscene about being told if you would only just drill the lock on a hundred year old chest that it would then be perfectly legal to sell.

In an unexpected twist, Facebook has now removed two of them because it's illegal to sell a Lane made between the years 1912 and 1987 unless you drill the lock.

Can't stop won't stop.

New calico unlocked.

I can't pass them up. I go to a lot of estate sales for work, and anytime there's a trunk I try not to leave without it. Some are more haunted than others.

I have more.

I keep buying antique Lane trunks, and nobody is buying antique Lane trunks from me, so now I just have a warehouse full of antique Lane trunks.

CINEMA SECRET: A DELETED SCENE for Back to the Future would have involved the entirety of ROMANCING THE STONE but filmmakers decided to make that a different movie released earlier.

I got it at an estate sale. I come across a wide variety, though I usually let them go on by. Sometimes I can't help myself and I'll have to pick one up. It'd be rude not to.

If you're looking for more, I come across old typewriters all the time. These came through my shop a few months ago.

Write a detective novel in which a gumshoe must overcome a cold to seek out a lost scent when the sniff part has been stolen from a line of scratch and sniff stickers.

Write a romance novel that's just a 150, 200 page description of butter melting.

Vinnie Jones, a tall tough-looking guy, wearing a leather jacket and holding two rifles over his shoulders, probably in the movie Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Toby Jones, a nerdy-looking and not very tall man, in some movie where he's wearing glasses and a bow tie.

Parallel universe where the only difference is that all of Vinnie Jones' and Toby Jones' roles are reversed.

Almost all of Gwar's catalogue.

And Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys.

Rocky Raccoon should be a movie.

Are there movies based on songs that aren't musicals?

Two stores were out of potatoes and carrots yesterday. End times.

Wanna feel old? This is what Baby Yoda looks like now. *photo of regular Yoda*

Right? That is not a normal thing you hear during a commercial exchange in the lobby of a Taco Bell.

I keep telling this story to people and they're like yeah that was an old man and I'm failing to convey the depth of the bizarre and ominous nature of this.

A lot more went on. The entire encounter was extremely haunting. The shredder was only ten dollars.