also i got messages about how some people remember the game and how the representation of their cultures made them feel better about themselves and that is honestly the highest praise!! i wanted to share middle eastern culture with the west and challenge propaganda, even if it was just a little
so cute!!! i love the butterfly it gives it a ✨goth vibe✨
cleansing my timeline with ifritah kisses
idk if i'll ever forgive myself for hurting those people, nor will i ever seek their forgiveness, because i was wrong in the way i treated them and it makes me cry thinking about it because i know, at the time, those friends did love and care about me and i ruined it myself
anyways thats my lore!
also this whole callout did crop-up again when i was in the ffxiv community and had a falling out with a friend at the time (no names bc i dont want anyone to be targeted or harassed)
during that i acted in ways that i deeply regret especially when i hurt the people who loved and cared about me
anyway if you ever run into old posts about me and wonder what the story is, this is my side of it!
you’re free to form whatever opinion you want, i can't control what people do, think or say, but i can act honestly
i’d just rather people hear it from me instead of a 10-year-old tumblr thread LOL
these days ifritah still exists as my character and i still love writing about her (as u can see, she is my wife and my comfort character. i tried to retire her but its impossible, she has helped me through the worst eras of my life)
but the vn itself is like a fossil from a different era (12/?)
TLDR:
i was a young creator who was excited to share their culture with others, and made mistakes running a project
some people had genuine criticisms
a lot of the response turned into harassment and morality wars
and eventually i left because it was destroying my mental health!
(11/?)
i’m not writing this thread to convince anyone of anything!! i've made my peace that i don't have to be widely loved and adored by everyone, sometimes people just dont like you and that's ok!
what i wanted to do is share my POV, b/c ive been silent for probs.. 10 years now (10/?)
since then i’ve mostly avoided talking about it
not because i think that i'm blameless and that i did nothing wrong, but because the situation became SO hostile and distorted that it stopped being about the truth. it was just a smear campaign and harassment, plain and simple (9/?)
it got bad enough that it seriously affected my mental health
i ended up being hospitalized more than once during that period because of how overwhelming everything became
so eventually i just shut the whole project down and disappeared. i changed my online persona name and left tumblr (8/?)
but a lot of what happened after that crossed the line from criticism into harassment
people started compiling posts, assumptions, and screenshots to paint me as basically the worst person imaginable
and it spread pretty fast because tumblr at the time loooooooved a callout post (7/?)
that lack of structure caused problems and misunderstandings and i take full responsibility for that
if i were doing something like that today i would handle it very differently. i would have gotten actual advice and run the project like an adult lmfao (6/?)
other parts of the callouts were about how i handled the project and my interactions with people involved
and i want to be honest about that: i was young and had absolutely no idea what i was doing running a project like that - no contracts, no bookkeeping, just vibes (5/?)
some of the criticism was about the story itself
people were uncomfortable with the themes, especially with ifritah as a character. she’s a violent character with a lot of power over others and the story explored that dynamic
some people felt that was romanticizing abuse (4/?)
then a series of callout posts about me started circulating... i’m not going to link them or dig them up because i don’t want to send harassment toward anyone and also because rereading them is honestly still pretty upsetting, but they’re still out there somewhere if people go looking (3/?)
years ago i was working on a visual novel project that featured some of my characters (including ifritah). it was a small indie project, mostly just me and a few collaborators trying to make something cool on tumblr! and for me to share my culture with others (2/?)
i got a message today asking if i was the person who made an old visual novel that my oc ifritah was in and it kinda reopened a really old chapter of my internet life
(1/?)
esp. as i gain followers on this account... but it may take me a while to get thru the whole story bc i am still triggered by the experience/feelings
preface:
im not doing this to change anyone's mind. people will have their opinions about me, i can't change anyone's idea or perception of me.
i'm also not doing this to bring attention to the callouts bc i disagree w them on a fundamental level, i just want to be transparent
i'm going to do something unconventional and weird, and probably something that is going to blow up in my face LOL but as i get older i am trying to learn how to forgive myself. plus, maybe it can help someone who is in the same situation
i'm going to talk about the callout posts that are about me
Taking Corvosi lore AND MAKING IT MY OWN!! MINE NOW
Good morning to my Wife
gpose of a dark skinned woman wearing a white lehenga choli style outfit with a red dupatta. She has long black curled/wavy hair and is wearing various jewelry. she wears what appears to resemble an ancient Mesopotamian headdress
'orphic - (adj.) mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding'
#aetherweaver | #ifritahcore | #vanillacreatives | #gposers
TYSM
🥰🥰
she's not even evil or mean. she's just a rich brat
i should start shipping ifritah again i stopped after the end of EW (i didnt think she'd even be able to try romance but time has passed)
ifritah going on first dates is a funny concept bc she would be such a little shit about everything
i do it for me and the 5 people who love ifritah as much as i do
i dont do cool gpose edits anymore simply bc i get so excited to share pics of my blorbos
