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CENTCOM, 2026:

I love Econ-positng. Dan Habsmith of Guttermeyer Associates posts the most confusing chart you've ever seen and says "Quite surprising VARG numbers, SPLG index showing movement" and you get the context by one of his mutuals quoting it with "Buy a fucking gun and head for the hills. Right now."

Having some of the most thoroughly redacted thoughts of my life.

Tesla sued after Austin shooting suspect allegedly assaulted co-worker A 65-year-old woman says the automaker ignored warning signs before Ndiaga Diagne, the suspect in Sunday’s mass shooting, assaulted her. She sued Thursday.

the Austin mass shooter was a Tesla employee who assaulted a coworker during a company-allowed prayer break late last year

the company refused to give the victim her assailant's name so she could press charges, and he went on to become a mass shooter

www.statesman.com/business/art...

records from three additional interviews with a woman who accused Trump of sexual assault were "incorrectly coded as duplicative"? oh for sure, definitely passes the smell test

Unfortunately, “Yo brother, legal team confirmed we can’t work with minors rn” is an instant classic

ICE detains reporter Estefany Rodríguez in Nashville - Nashville Banner Reporter Estefany Rodríguez, detained by ICE with no arrest warrant, may face deportation. Her attorneys seek immediate review of the legality of her case.

ICE has arrested and detained a Nashville journalist who reported stories critical of ICE. She’s married to a U.S. citizen and has been seeking asylum here after fleeing death threats in Colombia because of her journalism there.

They’ve already sent her to Louisiana.

Virgin Atlantic doesn't give a shit we're going straight to Mumbai come hell or high water

The kids don't know about the Amanda Bynes poster hastily airbrushed to avoid implying she endorsed peace

/Mistaking the SCIF at Mar-a-Lago for the coat-check for a chiropractor's second wedding that is happening in the ballroom right next to the SCIF at Mar-a-Lago and briefly seeing a drowsy Donald Trump in a suit and baseball cap looking at a TV with a bunch of tweets on it. "Ope, sorry guys."

Yeah

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe?

AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

Wow, shocker, who could have guessed

We are not prepared for a new wave of nuclear proliferation.

History of the last twenty years will push people into it. Japan renounced war in its Constitution after 1945 and is now prepping to rearm.

‘Elaine From Atlantic … She Needs to Leave’ Representative Jasmine Crockett claimed I wasn’t kicked out of her rally. Here’s the audio.

Bad enough to kick a reporter out. Worse to lie about it. Worse still to smear the reporter involved by a) accusing her of fabulism — a career-ending accusation — and b) falsely claiming she’s been sued for defamation

Not dramatic enough? There’s audio:

www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...

The President singled out racial minorities as the source of fraud in the United States and the first line in recaps is “he stayed focused on the economy“ lol

Remember when I said NYC Mayor is one of the most powerful executive offices in the country? Honestly a lot of it is this kind of stuff. In many jurisdictions "I'm gonna hire 1000 people for a couple days for $30/hr" would require months hearings and council votes to actually do.

ngl I am kinda glad the guy who was pretty explicitly hired to round up all the regime’s enemies just immediately went “wait I get a jet?? hehehe” and started marking out major sports events on his calendar

this kid was spirited away to a "short-term residency program" owned by Bethany Christian Services, an evangelical adoption agency connected to Betsy DeVos

Sold. Enough for me

Immigration authorities had surveilled Chicago woman shot 5 times during 'Midway Blitz': CBP Report Marimar Martinez, the Chicago woman shot by federal agents last fall, was already on the government's radar and was identified as a threat after a social media post, according to a CBP report obtained...

"Marimar Martinez, the Chicago woman shot by federal agents last fall, was already on the government's radar before an agent opened fire, identified as a threat after a social media post."

So after Trump pardoned Honduras's narco-president, the admin didn't just let him out--they canceled an immigration hold and sent a specialized team to **chauffeur him to the $1k/night Waldorf Astoria.**

“It's "absolutely fucking nuts,” said one official

www.propublica.org/article/trum...

average european conflict over the past 1000 years is like “[french king] declares war on [french king] over claim to [italian speaking territory] based on their shared great great grandparents. both raise army of peasants consisting of 30 mutually unintelligible dialects

This particular Holocaust survivor testimony tells of Nazi guards at Ravensbrück deliberately throwing an apple into the air and catching it in front of starving Jewish inmates, taunting them by reminding them that the guards had food and they did not. kehilalinks.jewishgen.org/szczercow/Sh...

Seattle to Pay $29 Million to Family of Woman Fatally Struck by Police S.U.V.

"'She is dead,'" Officer Auderer told Officer Solan, before bursting out laughing.

"'No, it’s a regular person,' Officer Auderer said, adding: 'Yeah, just write a check — $11,000. She was 26, anyway. She had limited value.'"

It's not a new observation at this point but that wild Noem/Lewandowski story in WSJ really brings home the extent to which all the Trump 2 cabinet-level goblins see their jobs as flying private, doing short-form video, and screaming at underlings. They all hate each other and none of them can read.

Yeah I’m looking for my dog (girlfriend who has a restraining order against me and she has a dog) and here’s the picture of the dog (she walks this dog and I can use it to figure out her schedule) thanks for sending all footage my way

The vibe of the Halftime Show

heads up to the american news media: I do not care what racists thought of the super bowl halftime show

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,